


We Let These People Run Actual REGIONS?!

by Sapphiria



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Ash Is a LITERAL DISNEY PRINCESS, Basically memes and some plot, Chatting & Messaging, Diantha Is a Goddess. She holds the Champion's Only Braincell, Fluff, Focuses on the Champions mostly but other chatrooms will be added, Gen, He nasty, Ignores Gen 8 anime so far, Includes Headcanons, Mentions of the Kalos Incident and Evil Dorito Man, References from across the series, Some angst, There will be fluff, and Diantha's family being chaotic godly beings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2020-10-29 14:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20798276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphiria/pseuds/Sapphiria
Summary: Following his victory at the Manalo Conference and becoming Alola's first ever Champion, Ash enters the Champion's chatroom not knowing what to expect. Maybe they'll be serious, high ranked members of society focusing on politics and papers. Maybe they'll be kind and forward thinking with doing what's best for their regions...Or maybe they'll be a bunch of memers who act just like his other friends do at 3AM in the morning.A Chatfic inspired by the many gems of Anipoke chatfics with spoilers from SM139





	1. Once Upon A Time...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! And welcome to my shoddy attempt at a chatfic! I really enjoyed writing this and I'm sorry if characters seem OOC, I kinda want to keep characterisation linked to canon but don't... I guess. urgh, I'm rubbish at this, anyway, I hope its okay and thanks for reading!
> 
> USERNAMES:  
(We Are The Champions My Friend)  
OhhhYEAH: Professor Kukui  
ALiteralDisneyPrincess: Ash/Satoshi  
G-ManWhisperer: Lance/Wataru  
RockOn: Steven Stone  
F A B U L O U S: Wallace  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia  
DevineGoddess: Diantha  
ThirstyThot: Alder
> 
> (Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau)  
Yellow Ranger: Sophocles  
Other Blue Ranger: Lana  
Green Ranger: Mallow  
Red Ranger: Kiawe  
Hau: as himself  
Blue Ranger: Ash  
Pink Ranger: Lillie  
Emo Ranger: Gladion

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

_User **OhhhYEAH **has added User **ALiteralDisneyPrincess **to the chat: **We Are The Champions My Friend**_

**OhhhYEAH:** Lady, Gentlemens, Deities and… Alder

**ThirstyThot: **HEY!

**F A B U L O U S: **Is for Rapidash, continue Kukui darling.

**OhhhYEAH: **May I have the honour of introducing the first Alola Champion to your fine selves?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Dunno, our Deity hasn’t said so yet

**DevineGoddess:** I permit it.

**RockOn: **OUR DEITY HATH SPOKEN!

**G-ManWhisperer: **Ahh, Kukui. So your league plans turned out okay?

**OhhhYEAH:** Yeah, everything went swell until three giant ass Ultra Beasts, TWO OF THEM WERE FUCKING SHINIES BY THE WAY, decided to wreck the awards ceremony!!!

**F A B U L O U S: **… Darling, what the fuck.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I… I’m certain something similar with powerful/legendary Pokémon has happened before

**DevineGoddess: **We do not talk about the _Incident._

**RockOn: **We do not talk about the _Incident_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I was talking about Spear Pillar and Machima but go off, I guess

**ThirstyThot: **That’s never happened to me before

**G-ManWhisperer: **Because you were hitting on Nurse Joy when your region was in danger and you left it to a bunch of children, Cynthia, an International Secret Police member and an aging professor to deal with it. BOTH TIMES

**ThirstyThot: **Excuse me, I was busy

_User **ALiteralDisneyPrincess **has logged on. Prepare Confetti_

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **If hitting on women who don’t want your advances is being busy, then I want to know if saving the world from destruction means being overworked without overtime?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Holy shit

**RockOn:** This is Alola’s first Champion?! Can we keep ‘em?!

**DevineGoddess: **I was just thinking the same thing, Steven.

**OhhhYEAH: **I guess I’ll take my leave. Don’t stay up too late to talk to them all, Ash. It's a school night.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Okay Professor! :3

**RockOn: **…

**G-ManWhisperer: **…

**F A B U L O U S**: …

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou:** …

**DevineGoddess:** …

**ThirstyThot: **Uh, what’s going on?

**OhhYEAH: **I’ll let myself out. Thanks for helping me with setting up the League, all!

_User **OhhhYEAH **has left the chat. And broken a hole in the wall, you’d better fix that._

**G-ManWhisperer: **… No problem Kukui…

**ThirstyThot: **Seriously though, I'm confused. Why is everyone suddenly quiet?

**DevineGoddess: **Alder?

**ThirstyThot: **Yes ma’am?

**DevineGoddess: **Shut up.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: @ALiteralDisneyPrincess **Ash?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yes?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Can I be the first to say I am so proud of you, hun?

**DevineGoddess: **And may I be the second to agree with that. Your performance in Kalos was outstanding, I’m so proud of you too.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess:** Awwww, thank you! (◍•ᴗ•◍)

**F A B U L O U S: **Bless my overly gay heart, he is a literal Disney princess

**RockOn: **With how he can tame legendries, I’m pretty sure most of us already knew that Wallace

**F A B U L O U S: **Ummm r00d

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess**: That's not my fault, kinda, sorry for my legendary beacon tendencies since they kinda almost destroyed your regions…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Except for you, Alder. You get no sympathy letting Team Rocket practically cause the end of Unova and allowing Team Plasma to summon Reshiram without doing anything to stop it

**ThirstyThot: **A. I don’t know who you are and B. I was busy!!! Plus Steven didn’t do anything during the whole Team Aqua and Magma showdown!!!

**RockOn: **You bitch.

**F A B U L O U S:** Honey, we were doing a Champion switch over at that point, the League was on shutdown for five days whilst Steven handed over the title to me since I defeated him in an official challenge

**RockOn:** Even then, we asked Lance to help since it was off season in Kanto and Johto

**RockOn: **I don’t see you askin someone to save your behind, even if Cynthia had already done so and was putting up with your advances following it

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **To be fair, the only reasons I had to get involved were that FUCKING CHILDREN were having to take on Team Rocket Grunts to SAVE THEIR OWN LIVES and Team Rocket kidnapped Ash so I of course was going to kick their butts for harming such a lovely boy

**DevineGoddess: **Did you kick their butts for such a worthy cause?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **You’d better believe I did, O’ Goddess

**DevineGoddess: **This woman, this woman right here, is my most worthiest follower.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou**: I HATH BEEN BLESSED

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Aunt Diantha, how did you become the goddess of this chat room?

**DevineGoddess:** By being the only one with a brain cell amongst us.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Wait... WHAT THE FUCK?!

**RockOn**: AUNT?!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yep! She’s my Mama's sister!

**RockOn: **That explains why you were so clingy to him following the _Incident_

**DevineGoddess: **As well as being the most traumatised, he is family and I was not letting my little sister's son be left alone when he needed warmth and comfort.

**F A B U L O U S: **Diantha, darling, you are a true Queen

**ThirstyThot:** Hold up, not only do you all know the new Champion, but he’s Diantha’s nephew?!

**RockOn: **…

**G-ManWhisperer: **…

**F A B U L O U S**: …

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou:** …

**DevineGoddess:** …

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Umm, Alder? Not to bring you out of your self-contained world bubble, but you know me.

**ThirstyThot: **What?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I came second in the World Tournament Junior Cup?

**ThirstyThot: **…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I had the Krookodile with the sunglasses?

**ThirstyThot: **…

**ALiterallDisneyPrincess: **I fought your Bouffalant with my Pikachu and won by default ‘cause you fell asleep?

**ThirstyThot:** …

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Oh my Arceus, you messed up my name constantly and called me Ashton!!!

**ThirstyThot: **OHHHHHH! Ashton! Now I remember you!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Fucking hell, Alder

**DevineGoddess: **You messed up a nickname? You really are getting old, grandpa.

**ThirstyThot:** What, is this the Bully Alder Club?

**RockOn**: Yes

**G-ManWhisperer: **yeah

**ThirstyThot: **Shut

**F A B U L O U S: **Nickname? Diantha, darling, would you elaborate what you mean by that?

**DevineGoddess: **Oh, sure. Ash is just a nickname since some people believe Kantonian names are too hard to pronounce. Lance should be able to understand that.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Ahwomen to that, Wataru is apparently too difficult to say

**ALiternalDisneyPrincess: **That’s not hard to say! Neither is Satoshi but I had to make it more Unovan to cater to those who didn’t want to say my name

**G-ManWhisperer: **FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS MY PLIGHT!!!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Do you two want us to call you by your proper names?

**G-ManWhisperer: **I’m fine, it’s just the principle Cynthia.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I’m okay with being called Ash. I did kinda pick it for myself and technically it’s still my name but just 3 letters of it.

**RockOn: **So you’re half Kalosian and Half Kantonian, **@ALiteralDisneyPrincess**?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yep! My Otō-san was a traditional Kantonian and my Mama respected that so I got a Kantonian first name and a Kalosian middle name

**RockOn:** Noice

**ThirstyThot: **Last time I checked, you had a decent enough team, but they weren’t all that powerful. Not to become Champs. So, how did you win the Champion title?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Say all you want about me, but you DARE say things about MY TEAM?!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh shit, Alder dun goofed

**G-ManWhisperer: **He dead, he defo dead.

**F A B U L O U S: **I can’t watch

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I was the one who caused our failure, THEY did their best, TRAINED their HARDEST yet you’re blaming them?! HOW DARE YOU!!!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Says the guy who fell asleep on his Bouffalant!!! OH, and by the way, boom

_User** ALiteralDisneyPrincess **uploaded file **AlolaFamily.JPG **to the chat_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Holy shit

**RockOn: **A LEGENDARY AND A FULLY EVOLVED ULTRA BEAST, HOLY ARCEUS!!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **And don’t forget Nebby, a.k.a. SOLGALEO, Rowlet defeated his final evolutionary form, Incineroar went toe to toe to the Professor’s Incineroar, Lycanroc won me the League and Pikachu can defeat legendries and pseudo legendries. And don’t get me started on the many achievements of all my other Pokémon which I could rant to you about all day.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Just because I’ve only just won a league and become a Champion doesn’t mean that my other Pokémon were weak, I was the one who was too weak at the time. Thank you for listening to my TED talk, have a pleasant day Alder.

**DevineGoddess: **You just got told.

**F A B U L O U S: **Honestly, if someone had just told me that my team was too weak to be Champion Pokémon, I would react the same way, darling. **@ThirstyThot** would you not react the same way if someone said that about your team?

**ThirstyThot: **You’re right. I should have thought about what I typed. Sorry Ashton, I should have never said such horrible things about your Pokémon

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **It’s Ash… and you’re forgiven

**ThirstyThot: **Really?!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yep! But say something like that ever again…

**ThirstyThot: **I UNDERSTAND ENTIRELY, YOUNG MAN! NEVER AGAIN!!!

**RockOn: **Can install the same sense of fear in Alder. Yep, defo Diantha’s nephew

**DevineGoddess: **I am extremely proud that it is a family trait.

**G-ManWhisperer: **If anything, I’m more scared of your sister than I am of you

**DevineGoddess: **Good, you should be.

**RockOn**: I have 1 (one) fear and it’s Diantha’s family

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **A bit pussy of you but I'm saying nothing

**RockOn**: You wanna go?!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Nahhhhh. Plus I got my own shit to deal with

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Does it start with a T, ends with an S and disturbs the natural order?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh yesss. Still upset about that?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Not upset, but worried for Darkrai and Latios… and any other legendaries he may have on his team. Having more than one legendry on a team isn’t against the rules, heck my Alola team technically has 2, but there seemed something wrong with them. I kinda don’t believe that both legendries fully bonded to him…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Six, he had Six legendries

**G-ManWhisperer: **Is this that Tobias guy you were complaining about a week ago?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yeah, turns out the guy literally made a team of legendries because he wanted to be mysterious and undefeatable. No one had beaten his Darkrai until Ash came along, everyone thought he only just had a Darkrai then he revealed a Latios. Even President Goodshow thought that was breaking the rules

**ThirstyThot: **Aren’t trainers allowed only one mythical/legendary per league?

**RockOn: **You’re right. For once…

**ThirstyThot: **I’m going to ignore that slanderous comment

**DevineGoddess: **Good, as you should.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **To answer Alder, yeah that’s the case.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I only had Melmetal during the league, Naganadel rejoined us during the Guzzlord attack

**DevineGoddess: **That, sweetheart, is why the League hasn’t questioned your victory which us why we had no idea it was you until recently. If they did, we’d be told about the investigation into your victory following League requirements.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Exactly as our Deity said. Anyway, the reveal of his legendry team has lead into an inquiry but he wants to challenge the Sinnoh Elite Four and my glorious self, like right now. He’s getting pretty impatient about it. None of my Elite Four want him to challenge us since he’s technically cheated his way to a league win. They all agree that you should have won, Ash. My Elite Four really seem to like you.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I meet them on my travels! They were really nice! (^・ω・^ )

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I can seriously see why even Bertha liked you. ANYWAYS… I’m seeing if President Goodshow and the League can do something to stop someone who only cares about beating everyone he lays his eyes on from becoming Champion

**RockOn: **Too scared to fight him?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **He has a fucking semi-unbeatable Darkrai and a semi-unbeatable Latios WITH FOUR OTHER POWERFUL AS FUCK LEGENDRIES. DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT HIM INSTEAD?!!!!

**RockOn: **Not Entirely

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Then perish knowing you never have to deal with him in your lifetime. He’d run Sinnoh into the ground by doing absolutely nothing

**DevineGoddess: **At least Unova’s Elite Four is highly competent enough to run a region whilst their Champion is off on a spiritual journey

**ThirstyThot: **You know me. Desk work isn’t my thing!

**F A B U L O U S: **Maybe it is better for Unova if it is run by the Elite Four in this case…

**ThirstyThot: **You all love bullying me, don’t you?

**F A B U L O U S: **At least all of us won our titles through tough struggles darling, you were just given your role

**G-ManWhisperer: **Wallace loves to spill the tea

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **And what delicious tea it is

**DevineGoddess: **Ash, honey. It’s getting late over there.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Oh right! I was going to ask about usernames but I can ask tomorrow…

**F A B U L O U S: **Allow moi to give a quick run down. Diantha is our goddess, Steven's is because Lance called him a rock type specialist when super tired and Steven won’t let him live it down

**RockOn: **Ahwomen

**F A B U L O U S: **Lance is head of the G-Men so he understands them, Alder’s is be because he was being thirsty and our Goddess called him a thot

**DevineGoddess: **I do not retract that statement in any way.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ahwomen to that, our Deity

**F A B U L O U S: **Mine is because I’m Fabulous darling, Cynthia’s is because so many thirsty people have asked her to step on them

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I’ve heard Brock ask an Officer Jenny to do that to him, he kinda got a stomp to the head instead

**G-ManWhisperer: **Oof, teenage hormones can be BS

**F A B U L O U S: **What about you, our youngest Champion? How did you get your name?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Well, I was singing a song I had stuck in my head during a lunch break, ya know, as you do, and I attracted an army of wild Pokémon who sat around me from it. This was before the Ultra Guardians btw, so Lana got Sophocles to hack and change my username to this and I couldn’t be bothered to change it

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Literally, an actual live Disney Princess

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **That’s what Lana, Mallow, Kiawe and Sophocles said when I said no to the username, but they hacked and I’m kinda stuck with it anyway

**DevineGoddess: **I would love to meet your classmates, they sound very nice.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **You’d love them, Aunt Diantha. I gotta go, Rotom is giving me the stink eye and I’m pretty sure the only reason Pikachu is still awake is because he needs me to cuddle him to go to sleep

**G-ManWhisperer: **Bye Ash!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Have a good night’s sleep, school can be pretty tiring

**DevineGoddess: **May you be blessed with pleasant dreams

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Thanks! Night all!

_User **ALiteralDisneyPrincess **has logged out, hope to see you soon!_

**ThirstyThot: **What a lovely young man that Ashton is.

**RockOn: **Holy Shit, Alder

* * *

**Chatroom: Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau**

**Yellow Ranger: **And that is why we can never have Kinder Eggs in our house anymore

**Other Blue Ranger: **Cool

**Green Ranger: **What the literal Distortion World, Soph?!

**Red Ranger: **I concur with Mallow. HOW IN THE NAME OF TAPU LELE IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

**Yellow Ranger: **Umm… I dunno

**Green Ranger: ** _YOU DON’T KNOW?!_

**Hau: **I’m guessing Mother Ursaring Mallow has been unleashed?

**Pink Ranger: **Indeed she hath. *sips tea*

_User **Blue Ranger **has logged in, Everyone look alive!_

**Yellow Ranger: **Oh! Hey Ash!

**Green Ranger: **Don’t think this conversation is over.

**Yellow Ranger: **Yes ma’am

**Blue Ranger:** Hey everyone! :3

**Blue Ranger: **… I’m not gonna ask what happened there

**Emo Ranger: **That’s really the most intelligent thing to do.

**Pink Ranger: **Brother! I thought you only liked to lurk in this chat.

**Emo Ranger: **I’m sorry, does praising our regional Champion for not delving into the hellhole of a conversation that just spawned from the darkest abyss of Giratina’s realm offend you?

**Pink Ranger: **I was going to congratulate you for socialising but if you’re going to be that rude then I’m going to tell mother you ate the last one of her favourite deserts!

**Emo Ranger: **BUT THAT WAS YOU!!!

**Pink Ranger: **Face your punishment for being an impertinent uncouth child, we both know mother will believe me.

**Other Blue Ranger: **DAMN, Lillie cold AF

**Red Ranger**: Lana! Language!

**Other Blue Ranger: **You’re not my dad!

**Green Ranger: **Anyway, we’ll deal with you miscreants later…

**Yellow Ranger: **Boooooo!

**Green Ranger: **Did I stutter?

**Yellow Ranger: **No Ma’am!

**Pink Ranger: **Ooo, got to have me a woman like that.

**Emo Ranger: **Lillie, your Gay is showing.

**Pink Ranger: **Did I ask for your opinion? No, I did not.

**Green Ranger: **Alright, break it up. So, Ash, our sweet summer child, how is the Champion’s chat?

**Blue Ranger: **Well… it’s pretty much like our chat but with five adults instead of a bunch of pre-teens and teenagers

**Other Blue Ranger: **… Whelp, that’s his innocence fucked

**Green Ranger: ** _LANA!!_

**Red Ranger: **_LANA!!_


	2. This Is My Jam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cynthia has some Tea to spill and Ash meets the Galar Champion and his younger brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your lovely responses! I'm so happy my first ever chatfic is actually good! I don't have much to say other than this would have been out last night as a gift to you all on my birthday but something happened and I was in a right state til like 12 at night when karma decided to like me and helped me out.  
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend  
DevineGoddess: Diantha  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia  
RockOn: Steven Stone  
G-ManWhisperer: Lance/Wataru  
F A B U L O U S: Wallace  
ALiteralDisneyPrincess/ALiteralDisneyGoddess: Ash/Satoshi  
ThirstyThot: Alder  
Mufasa/ACrimeAgainstFashion: Leon  
HopSkipAndAJump: Hop

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **My divine Deity, may I bitch in the chat?

**DevineGoddess: **You may, my most worthy follower.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I hath been given the right.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Is everything okay, Cynthia? Does this link to why President Goodshow showed up in Alola looking like he hadn’t slept in a week?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Goodshow’s in Alola?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yeah, to set up the Alola League properly. Professor Kukui and I met him at the airport and got him checked in at the hotel Mama and I stayed in when we first arrived here. He seemed really happy to be able to relax so I told him to spend the week resting and we could sort out League stuff when he had a chance to de-stress.

**F A B U L O U S: **A sweet summer child, what hath we done to deserve your presence?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Helped me become a better trainer by helping me out on my journey?

**RockOn: **I guess we did

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **All of you did! But Alder

**ThirstyThot: **EXCUSE?!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **You heard me

**DevineGodess: **I’m so proud, the family tradition continues

_User **Mufasa **has logged on. Get the tea, luv!_

**Mufasa: **Hi all

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh hey, Leon. Busy yesterday?

**F A B U L O U S: **Hun, I thought you wanted to bitch?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I do but gossip

**Mufasa: **Yeah, Chairman Rose had me to this big PR stunt. Big fucking laugh since trainers can only enter the Galar League with endorsements

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Galar? Endorsements?

**Mufasa: **Umm, who is this and why do they have access to our chat?

**DevineGoddess: **Leon, meet my nephew, Satoshi, the first Alola Champion.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Nice to meet you! You can just call me Ash though, if you want. (・ω・)

**Mufasa: **Whaddya know, the name fits

**DevineGoddess: **Ash, Galar is a region just off of Kalos. To enter their Pokémon League, you need a sponsor/endorsement from a League Official. Gyms are a really big thing over there and are broadcast all over the region.

**F A B U L O U S: **Just like Contests!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I get it! Thanks!

**Mufasa: **Y’all kept a mini Diantha hidden from me

**G-ManWhisperer: **Tbh, none of us knew they were related until Ash joined the chat

**DevineGoddess: **To be honest, I’ve talked about my family with all of you and I’m shocked at how none of you put two and two together.

**Devine Goddess: **Except for you, Leon. You’ve never properly met my sister’s charming boy in person

**RockOn**: But Diantha, you’re our only braincell. We’re dumb dumb

**DevineGoddess: **True, very true…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **After Alder, Leon’s the dumbest. I mean, who the fuck dressed you?!

**Mufasa: **I dressed myself

**F A B U L O U S: **That makes total sense, he’s fashion illiterate, darhling

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **It can’t be that bad, can it?

_User **DevineGoddess **uploaded file **WhatAreThose.JPG **to the chat_

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I stand corrected, that’s a literal disaster

**Mufasa: **My brother says I look cool…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **That’s because he’s talking only about the cape, not your booty shorts with LEGGINGS

**F A B U L O U S: **Honey, nobody in the history of this planet has looked at tiny shorts and leggings and said, that’ll look cool and fabulous

**ThirsyThot: **One girl in my region did

**Devine Goddess: **Because she could actually string together an outfit, unlike yourself and mister twink over there.

**Mufasa: **Bloody hell, Hop read this and is laughing at me now, you know that?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Good

**DevineGoddess: **Good.

**RockOn: **Good

**G-ManWhisperer: **Good

**F A B U L O U S: **Good

**ThirstyThot: **Good

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **. . .

**Mufasa: **Listen, Ash, we’ve only just met but please don’t agree with them…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **. . . :3

_User **ALiteralDisneyPrincess **has changed User **Mufasa**’s username to A**CrimeAgainstFashion**_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **…

**RockOn: **HOLY SHIT!!!

**F A B U L O U S: **Slay him, darling, slay him

**G-ManWhisperer: **I’M… WHEEZING…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **This is the quality content I come here for

**DevineGoddess: **Have I ever told anyone how proud I am of my nephew? I’m extremely proud.

**ThirstyThot: **I am terrified of that boy

**DevineGoddess: **GOOD

**F A B U L O U S: **GOOD

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **GOOD

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **GOOD

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Hop’s dying from laughing too much, what do I do?!

**ThirstyThot: **Ummm, get Corn a glass of water?

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **First off, his name is Hop you bloody bellend. And secondly, HOW WOULD WATER HELP SOMEONE WHO CAN’T BREATHE FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH YOU BLOODY NUMPTY?!

**G-ManWhisperer: **Galarian swearing, a joy amongst joys

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Not the best time, Wataru

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Ummm, to get someone to stop laughing, tell them something sad I guess?

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **OK, got it

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **…

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Oh shit

_User **ACrimeAgainstFashion **has logged out, good luck boo._

**RockOn: **Umm, what just happened?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Sibling murder, and Leon being a dumbass

**RockOn: **Ohhh, the norm?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yes, hun, the norm

_User **HopSkipAndAJump** has entered the chat, All Hail!_

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Leon’s dead, sorry all.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Damn, and I was just getting to know him

**ThirstyThot: **So, what did he say to end up murdered?

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Watch out, Grandpa cos you’ll be next.

**ThirstyThot: **WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Exist, like the last few times

**HopSkipAndAJump: **I have found a new brother! Wait, do you have a proper fashion sense?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **All my stuff is colour co-ordinated if that’s what you mean

**HopSkipAndAJump: **GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!

**DevineGoddess: **I have a new nephew?

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Nah, it’s okay Miss. Diantha, I’d love to be a part of your family but I’m not worthy enough.

**DevineGoddess: **Are you sure?

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Yeah, someone has to keep my brother in check

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **The brother you just brutally murdered? (・∀・)

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Oh yeah, you right…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Don’t worry! I’ll ask Arceus if they can revive him!

**HopSkipAndAJump: **You know the literal creator of our universe?!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Yep! ( ⋂‿⋂ )

**HopSkipAndAJump: **It’s okay, Leon deserves to stay dead a bit longer

_User **ACrimeAgainstFashion** has logged in, everyone run for your lives! _

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **HOP! STOP TELLING PEOPLE I’M DEAD!!

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Sometimes, I still hear his voice.

**RockOn: **This seems to be peak sibling squabbling

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh my Arceus, I haven’t laughed this much in ages

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Hop: “I’ve come to make an announcement”

**HopSkipAndAJump: **“Leon the Galar Champion is a twink arse motherfucker. I’m making a callout post on my Flyter Dot Com”

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I’ll take back your endorsement

**HopSkipAndAJump: **I know you won’t you coward, Mum’ll kill you. That and you love me really.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I know, and I do

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Even if he did, I’d endorse you

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Wait… wat?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **I may be like 12, but I’m still the Alola Region Champion and Ex-Orange League Champion, I’d have more than enough credentials to endorse you, I think…

**HopSkipAndAJump: **But we don’t even know each other…

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **It’s a good way to make friends then by helping you achieve your dream since I’m well on my way of reaching mine!

**HopSkipAndAJump: **I have only known… Ash? For about ten minutes, but if anyone hurts him then I’ll kill everyone in Galar and then myself.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Please don’t do that… ( ಠ ಠ )

**HopSkipAndAJump: **Okay, I won’t. Anyway, someone needs to feed our Pokémon since my brother has recently become deceased. Bye y’all!

_User **HopSkipAndAJump** has logged off, See you later!_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **STOP TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD!!!

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Umm, nice meeting you Ash. See you all around

_User **ACrimeAgainstFashion **has logged off, bring proper trousers next time!_

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Leon’s nice, he’s ten times better than Alder

**ThirstyThot: **I’m just going to have to get used this now, aren’t I

**Devine Goddess: **It’s only just one more person, what difference does it make?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Our Deity hath spoken! All Hail!

**RockOn: **Hail!

**F A B U L O U S: **Hail!

**G-ManWhisperer: ** Hail!

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Hail! :3

**DevineGoddess: **Oh no honey, you’re family. You don’t have to do that.

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess: **Oh, okay!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Lemme change something a minute…

_User **StopAskingMeToStepOnYou **has changed User **ALiteralDisneyPrincess**’s username to **ALiteralDisneyGoddess**_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **There, now the family matches

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Oh my Arceus, Cynthia

**DevineGoddess: **This is why you are my most loved follower.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I aim to please

**F A B U L O U S: **Before the pandemonium, you were given the right to bitch by the devine deity herself. Darling, what were you about to bitch?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh right, we got so sidetracked. Anyway, it has a reason as to why President Goodshow is so knackered

**RockOn: **Continue

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Continuing. So today the Sinnoh League got together to talk about the Tobias case…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Big oof

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **The decision was pretty much unanimous amongst Gym Leaders, Elite Four, myself, League Officials and Mr. President. Tobias entered the Lily of the Valley League illegally breaking the limit of Legendary Pokémon. His right to challenge the Elite Four and myself has been rescinded and an investigation is ongoing what happened for him to get all those Legendries and where his starter team is and what has happened to them

**G-ManWhisperer: **That’s good, right?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yes, until Tobias found out and caused a bit of a scene. He kept on saying it was his right to challenge the Elite Four and the Champion, that this was an injustice against him.

**RockOn: **For Fucks Sake

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Exactly

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Does he have an Alpha Legendary?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Dunno, why?

**ALiteralDisneyPrincess:** Legendries are ranked. Alpha Legendries are the first of their kind, the original ones made by Arceus. They are the ones who protect the world order and keep our system in balance. If he has an Alpha Legendary on his team he could potentially put the world in danger.

**ThirstyThot: **What about your… what was it? Melmetal? Isn’t it…?

**ALiteraDisneyGoddess: **First off, Melmetal is an ancient Pokémon that has recently been reclassified to Mythical due to their rare status. So, unless Professor Oak’s research is off that Meltan weren’t common as heck in the past then potentially they may be but more than likely they aren’t, second off, I’m the mcliteral Chosen One, the Legendary Beacon? If anyone was gonna be sensible enough to command Alpha Legendries, it’s gonna be me cos I know the consequences that could happen if they are mistreated…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: ** _Shall I continue?_

**ThirstyThot: **NO YOUNG MAN, I FULLY UNDERSTAND!

**G-ManWhisperer: **I’m never gonna not get enjoyment out of seeing that

**DevineGoddess:** And the other ranks, Ash?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Beta Legendries are the children of Alpha Legendries and YES they can have children. Check the Altomare Case if you don’t believe me. They’re less powerful but still have the same affect. If their parent dies for some reason, as was the case with the Original Latios, then the Beta Legendries will step up and become Alpha Legendries in their place. Gamma Legendries are Legendries created by the Alpha and Betas but they aren’t vital to the world’s survival. The higher tier Legendries just create their eggs using their powers. Gamma Legendries are more powerful than Delta Legendries and finally there are Zeta Legendries who are as powerful as Pseudo Legendries, meaning their as powerful as decently trained Garchomp’s, Goodra’s, etc.

**F A B U L O U S: **To be honest, Darling, I wasn’t expecting that.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **If you’ve been around Legendries as long as I have then you’ll understand it easier. Same with Mythicals. Technically, since my Melmetal is the first of the kind in the modern day, and since the reclassification to Mythical, they should be an Alpha but since they’re new we’re starting at Zeta and working our way up with training. Considering Melmetal almost beat an Ultra Beast slayer like Silvally… they are probably Delta right now. We’ll see.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Ash, I worry about you a lot

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I’m fine, honest. Back to Tobias. I suspect his Darkrai is either Beta or Gamma level, and his Latios is probably Gamma…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Why so high?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Because Pikachu has taken on Gamma level and above Legendries before. Latios, having already taken damage, was able to knock out Pikachu. Thus Gamma Level.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Got it, his other four aren’t all that strong. He got a bit violent and we managed to take away Darkrai and Latios’ Poké Balls. My team was able to take out his Zapdos, Suicune, Victini and Shaymin

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **All Zetas, especially if he had a Victini on his team. You’re a Champion with one Pseudo Legendary… did any of your team get knocked out?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **No, close calls but all were still standing by the end of it.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Definitely Zetas. That or badly trained Deltas. I feel so sorry for them.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Tobias got away but his Pokémon didn’t. We’re launching a big arse man hunt to find him since he could potentially be gaining Legendries through the black market. His Pokémon definitely seemed happy with us after he fled.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **No bond, he definitely hadn’t trained them or even caught them. He either brought them or was just given them.

**DevineGoddess: **At least they are safe now.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yeah, you’re right. I’m knackered so I’m gonna get a good 12 hours of sleep

**G-ManWhisperer: **Cynthia, that isn’t good for you

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Sure, mom, sure. Night all

**RockOn: **It’s only 6PM in Sinnoh…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **NIGHT!

_User **StopAskingMeToStepOnYou **has logged off, have a good Glameow nap!_

**RockOn: **I swear this server is sentient

**F A B U L O U S: **Honey, you’re just seeing things

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Oh, that reminds me I have homework to do!

**ThirstyThot: **A Champion has to do homework?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Shut

**DevineGoddess: **At least Ash is responsible and is open to learning, unlike yourself.

**G-ManWhisperer: **I am enjoying the slander in this chatroom tonight

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Thanks, Aunt Diantha! :3

**DevineGoddess: **No problem, sweetheart. I’ll tell your mother our usernames match now. Just focus on your schoolwork.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Okay, bye!

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess** has logged off, don’t work too hard!_

**RockOn: **Umm… might I ask what’s this about matching usernames?

**DevineGoddess: **Why do you think I have the incorrect spelling of Divine?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Holy shit there’s three of them.

**DevineGoddess: **Well, at least you all have an extra braincell in the chatroom.

**F A B U L O U S: **Very true, darling, very true


	3. Kahunas, Guardians and Baddies, oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kahunas learn of the plans for the new Pokemon League coming to Alola, the Ultra Guardians do what those kids normally do and The Team Rocket Trio have a bit of a crisis on what they're going to do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind words towards my chatfic! I'm so glad its doing its job of being funny and being interesting. Before we start today's chapter, I'd like to thank Aria and Bluebell for helping me with two of the nicknames. You two are amazing, thank you both so much
> 
> Usernames:  
(4 Kahunas and a Baby)  
TheManWith40Cats: Nanu  
MiningDiamonds: Olivia  
IRLBrony: Hapu  
MyBodyIsReady: Hala  
SolgaleoMeema: Ash
> 
> (Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau)  
Yellow Ranger: Sophocles  
Other Blue Ranger: Lana  
Pink Ranger: Lillie  
Hau: As himself  
Red Ranger: Kiawe  
Green Ranger: Mallow  
Emo Ranger: Gladion  
Blue Ranger: Ash
> 
> (We Are Number 1!)  
FlamingMoltres: James  
MoveMachineBroke: Meowth  
IWannaBeFamous: Jessie
> 
> (We Are The Champions My Friend)  
ALiteralDisneyGoddess: Ash  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia

**Chatroom: 4 Kahunas and a Baby**

**TheManWith40Cats: **I love my kids, but I mcfycking hate them sometimes.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Wait, shit

**MiningDiamonds: **mcfycking

**IRLBrony: **mcfycking

**MyBodyIsReady: **Children, please.

**SolgaleoMeema: **Sometimes I question what I’m able to put up with…

**IRLBrony: **Sometimes, you gotta draw a line in the sand!

**MyBodyIsReady: **Hapu…

**IRLBrony: **Sometimes you gotta look at yourself and ask what you’re gonna put up with today.

**MiningDiamonds**: Hapu.

**IRLBrony: **NOT FUCKING THIS!!

**SolgaleoMeema: **Language, child.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Hapu, when a kid that is literally 4 years younger than your short arse calls you a chiddler, then some shit’s fucked up.

**SolgaleoMeema: **And as for you Nanu…

**IRLBrony: **HA!

**SolgaleoMeema: **Stop teaching Hapu swear words, you’re such a bad influence on her.

**MiningDiamonds: **Sometimes y’all forget that Ash has a disappointing tone but you can hear it even when he’s typing.

**MyBodyIsReady: **Well, yes

**TheManWith40Cats: **It’s mostly aimed at me though, I don’t see what your problem is.

**MiningDiamonds: **I have no problem with it, I enjoy seeing it used on you

**IRLBrony: **Mcfucking slay him Oliva!

**MiningDiamonds: **What else do you think I’d do in my free time?

**SolgaleoMeema: **Ladies, ladies, please, you’re all valid.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Excuse?!

**SolgaleoMeema: **Did I stutter? >:3

**IRLBrony: **I stan a literal deity!

**SolgaleoMeema: **Anyway, there’s something I kinda wanna tell you all about the League set up in Alola…

**TheManWith40Cats: **Great, we’re gonna have to build Gyms everywhere right?

**SolgaleoMeema: **No, we’re not.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Ummm, mcfucking ‘scuse me?

**MyBodyIsReady: **What do you mean by that?

**SolgaleoMeema: **I was on a phone call with President Goodshow, the guy we’re meeting in like a week, and I asked if it was okay if we could have challengers take on the Island Challenge to gain the right to enter the League competition.

**MiningDiamonds: **Woah…

**MyBodyIsReady: **Ash…

**SolgaleoMeema: **Alola has such a rich culture and by doing the Island Challenge, I was able to experience it for myself in a way I wouldn’t have if I was going from Gym to Gym. Trials were a new fresh challenge and proving myself worthy of battling you guys by taking on trials for Grand Trials was a first for me and it was so exciting! I wouldn’t want to spoil the Alolan way by adding Gyms everywhere.

**SolgaleoMeema: **So, I talked it over with the President and from what he’s seen, he agrees with me. With your permission, we can make it so that potential League Challengers have to take the Island Challenge and complete at least one trial and the Grand Trial per island, so they’ll have at least 8 trials under their belt before they can test themselves at the Pokémon League.

**SolgaleoMeema: **Is… that okay?

**MiningDiamonds: **Arceus, how were we blessed with such a respectful and kind child?

**IRLBrony: **Tapu Fini didn’t know her shit when she tried to kill you.

**TheManWith40Cats: **EXCUSE?!

**SolgaleoMeema: **Nothing for you to worry about.

**IRLBrony: **Yeah, his knight in shining armour came and saved him anyway

**MyBodyIsReady: **I’m going to ignore that.

**SolgaleoMeema: **Sensible.

**IRLBrony: **Not so sensible but whatever

**MyBodyIsReady: **However, I am incredibly proud to hear your choice. I see Kukui was right when he said how invested you were in learning the Alolan culture. I am more than happy to allow it.

**TheManWith40Cats: **You’re honestly a problem child, but I respect that mindset kid. I’m glad you won.

**IRLBrony:** So, whose gonna elite four this shit?

**SolgaleoMeema: **Honestly, I was gonna ask all of you. You are the four Kahuna’s of Alola. Who better?

**IRLBrony: **Noice

**MiningDiamonds: **Is that all you can say about this?

**IRLBrony: **Well yeah? I know I can boss people around now and I’ve got 2 (two) titles

**MyBodyIsReady: **I don’t think that’s how it works.

**SolgaleoMeema: **Kinda, bad creeps get scared of you mega easily

**IRLBrony: **SEEEE?!

**TheManWith40Cats: **A child, a literal fucking child.

**IRLBrony: **SHUT

**MiningDiamonds: **Ignoring Nanu and Hapu as they’re moronic little shits…

**IRLBrony: **EXCUSE?!

**TheManWith40Cats: **EXCUSE?!

**MiningDiamonds: **I’d love to take up an Elite Four role, count me in.

**MyBodyIsReady:** For the honour of Alola, and hopefully with the blessing of the Tapus, I too would like to join this.

**IRLBrony: **You know my answer already

**TheManWith40Cats: **I came on this chat to bitch about my meowth children but got a promotion? What the hell, sure. I’ll join this elite club

**SolgaleoMeema: **Yay!!! Thank you everyone! Until like next week there isn’t anything to do but I’ll keep you all posted! I’m gonna call President Goodshow and tell him the great news! Thanks!

_User **SolgaleoMeema **has logged out, don’t leave these idiots alone for too long!_

**TheManWith40Cats: **Now I feel mcfycking insulted.

**IRLBrony: **Mcfycking

**TheManWith40Cats: **Did I mcStutter, bitch?

**MyBodyIsReady: **I didn’t sign up for this shit.

**Chatroom: Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau**

_User **Blue Ranger **has logged on, all hail!_

**Yellow Ranger: **Hail!

**Other Blue Ranger: **Hail!

**Pink Ranger: **Hail!

**Hau: **Hail!

**Red Ranger: **Hail!

**Green Ranger: **Hail!

**Emo Ranger: **…

**Pink Ranger: **Big brother, you remember our deal?

**Emo Ranger: **…

**Emo Ranger: **Fine

**Emo Ranger: **Hail.

**Other Blue Ranger: **Holy shit

**Yellow Ranger: **If Ash’s family weren’t fucking deities, I would wonder if Lillie was a cryptid Goddess

**Blue Ranger: **Soph, you’re a fool if you think just cos Lillie isn’t directly related to me that she isn’t a Goddess cause she is and she will slay you if you become a fool

**Pink Ranger: **Why thank you, Sato! I enjoy my powers of fear quite immensely! :3

**Yellow Ranger: **I have two (2) fears and they’re the last two people to comment in the chat

**Emo Ranger: **Why are you a mood all of a sudden?

**Other Blue Ranger: **Because Lillie and Ash literally fuck with the realm of mortals as the worthy deities they are?

**Emo Ranger: **Oh yeah, my sister really does have that power over people.

**Green Ranger: **99.9% of the time, Lillie is a blessed angel and the other 0.1% of the time she’s an eldritch being.

**Red Ranger: **Umm Mallow, it’s more of a fifty fifity split

**Green Ranger: **Oh really? It doesn’t seem like that to me

**Emo Ranger: **That’s because…

**Pink Ranger: **You’d better watch what you’re typing brother, because I can and will break your kneecaps. >w<

**Emo Ranger: **Oh shit…890weuiofgb3rwiefvnorejk nuojirjwedf\h gubneiruio

_User **Emo Ranger** has logged out, you dun goofed son._

**Other Blue Ranger: **Press F to respecc Gladion, for he died the only way an Emo knows how. By being a dick to his deity of a sister

**Hau: **Big F

**Yellow Ranger: **F

**Red Ranger: **F

**Green Ranger: **Small f

**Blue Ranger: **Why is that Mallow?

**Green Ranger: **He brought out Lillie’s eldritch side, he deserves it.

**Blue Ranger:** No arguments here, mum’s right.

**Green Ranger: **9uiweqfhw2erjfgr3weib

**Other Blue Ranger: **By the power invested to me by one of our two deities, I know legally announce Mallow as our chat and class mother.

**Green Ranger: **Guys…

**Pink Ranger: **Accept it Mallow, you are truly a mother figure to these reckless children and do an amazing job at it. You deserve the title of class mother! :3

**Green Ranger: **Lillie… aright, sure. I accept being mother to you rowdy lot. Sure I have to watch over two deities, a bunch of toddlers, one idiot and Hau…

**Red Ranger: **Who?

**Green Ranger: **What?

**Red Ranger: **Who is the idiot?

**Green Ranger: **Gladion, anyhow…

**Other Blue Ranger: **This is why Mallow is our mother

**Pink Ranger: **I agree indefinitely, my brother is a moronic specimen of the human species.

**Hau: **Guys, I love your slander at each other like good friends do but does anyone know why my grandpa just opened his alcohol cabinet and took a long swig from his whiskey?

**Yellow Ranger: **Kahuna Hala has whiskey?

**Other Blue Ranger: **Kahuna Hala has an alcohol cabinet?

**Hau**: Yes, but not the point.

**Blue Ranger: **…

**Blue Ranger: **Nanu and Hapu…

_User **Blue Ranger** has logged out, Good luck with that!_

**Hau: **Umm, why did Ash just leave so suddenly?

**Red Ranger: **So, you know how he won Professor Kukui’s League and is technically the official Alola Region Champ?

**Hau: **Yeah, grandpa told me as much.

**Red Ranger: **Well because of that the League corporation are setting up an Official Alola League here so Ash has been working with both the League and the Kahunas to figure out how to do so, which means he’s kinda been in the same chatroom as your grandfather so I guess he has an idea over what’s going on

**Hau: **Oooooooo, I get it now. That’s probably why grandpa looked like he was about to cry in joy earlier. He told me potential League challengers would have to take on the Island Trial Challenge to do so

**Yellow Ranger: **Was that the Kahuna’s idea?

**Hau: **No, it was Ash’s. He’s really taken to Alolan culture and wanted to respect it by incorporating it into Alola’s League

**Red Ranger: **… I’m proud.

**Green Ranger: **Not as proud as I am, Kiawe. Our boy’s grown up!

**Other Blue Ranger: **What the hell were y’all expecting, millions of Gyms everywhere?

**Red Ranger: **Shut

**Green Ranger: **Lana, please shut up

**Other Blue Ranger: **Never

**Pink Ranger: **Lana, please be quiet. :3

**Other Blue Ranger: **HOLYSHITYESI’LLSHUTUPPLEASEDON’TKILLMEWITHTHATFUCKINGFACEOHMYARCEUS!!!

**Green Ranger: **I guess that seems to work…

**Hau: **Lillie just seems to install that sense of fear into everyone, doesn’t she?

**Pink Ranger: **And I am quite proud of it too!

**Yellow Ranger: **Where the hell did you learn how to be an eldritch being, Lillie?

**Pink Ranger: **From my mother…

**Red Ranger: **Well we’re fucked.

**Green Ranger: **KIAWE!! LANGUAGE!!

**Chatroom: We Are Number 1! **

_User **FlamingMoltres** has logged on, beware his flames of justice!_

_User **MoveMachineBroke **has logged on, grab the milk peasants!_

_User **IWannaBeFamous** has logged on, No paparazzi please!_

**FlamingMoltres: **Since when has our chat been sentient?

**MoveMachineBroke: **Since the first chapter, Jimmy boy, catch up.

**IWannaBeFamous: **Alright boys, stop jabbering and listen up!

**MoveMachineBroke: **We aren’t talkin’ Jess, we’re texting

**FlamingMoltres: **Why we aren’t talking I don’t know…

**FlamingMoltres: **Wait, how can Meowth text, he doesn’t have apposable thumbs?!

**MoveMachineBroke: **If I can build our dumb machines without any thumbs, I can text without them too

**IWannaBeFamous: **Ominous but shut.

**IWannaBeFamous: **This is a serious meeting, we need to be in the serious zone…

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**FlamingMoltres: **What?

**MoveMachineBroke: **James, I don’t think “We Are Number One” counts as serious zone music.

**FlamingMoltres: **Okay, hold on a sec…

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **I don’t think “Bring Me To Life” nightcore edition counts either Jimmy boy

**IWannaBeFamous: **Urgh, it’ll have to do. I don’t want James fiddling with the goddamned computer for this

**FlamingMoltres: **Okay, Jessie, the floor is yours!

**IWannaBeFamous: **Alright, so serious meeting time! What are we gonna do now?

**MoveMachineBroke: **Whatdya mean by that Jess?

**IWannaBeFamous: **I mean the twerp’s settling down in Alola after becoming a Champion…

**FlamingMoltres: **I’m so proud of him for that

**MoveMachineBroke: **Yeah, remember when we abducted him during his first league which made him lose? We should apologise for that.

**FlamingMoltres: **We should really, but it has been like two years since then…

**IWannaBeFamous: **Ahem! Ladies, attention!

**FlamingMoltres: **Yes Jessie!

**MoveMachineBroke: **Whatever Jess.

**IWannaBeFamous: **I’ll ignore Meowth and continue by saying I’ve been wondering what we’re going to do. The Boss hasn’t called us back to Kanto and I definitely don’t want to hand my darling Mimikyu over to him no matter how much he pays us.

**FlamingMoltres: **I don’t want to give in Mareanie too.

**MoveMachineBroke: **Plus the boss would want Bewear and her Stufful as well, that ain’t happenin’ on my watch!

**IWannaBeFamous: **We don’t have any orders at the moment… so maybe we should just stay here at the time being and keep doing what we’re doing.

**FlamingMoltres: **That sounds like the best idea.

**MoveMachineBroke: **Yeah…

**FlamingMoltres: **…

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **Well this is upsetting

**FlamingMoltres: **I do feel a bit sad at the moment

**IWannaBeFamous: **It’s as if my life has no meaning

**FlamingMoltres: **…

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **So who wants to go and capture Pikachu?

**FlamingMoltres: **ME!

**IWannaBeFamous: **ME!

**FlamingMoltres: **Wait, isn’t it like midnight?

**IWannaBeFamous: **James, we’re adults, we can stay up as late as we want

**FlamingMoltres: **No, I don’t mean it like that, I mean Pikachu will be asleep…

**MoveMachineBroke: **And?

**FlamingMoltres: **And since the _incident_ doesn’t Pikachu sleep cuddled tightly into the twerp?

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**IWannaBeFamous: **Well

**MoveMachineBroke: **Shit

**FlamingMoltres: **…

**IWannaBeFamous: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **…

**MoveMachineBroke: **I may have an idea….

**IWannaBeFamous: **Let’s hear it

**MoveMachineBroke: **Well, it goes somethin’ like this…

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess **has logged on, please send help._

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Umm, I think I’ve just been kidnapped.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Holy fuck it, Ash


	4. The Alolan Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the last chapter with some soft, family driven prose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support of this fic, I am so glad I made it. This chapter is pretty self explanatory so let#s get right into it. 
> 
> USERNAMES:  
(We Are The Champions My Friend)  
ALiteralDisneyGoddess: Ash/Satoshi  
DevineGoddess: Diantha  
ACrimeAgainstFashion: Leon  
RockOn: Steven  
F A B U L O U S: Wallace  
G-ManWhisperer: Lance/Wataru  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia  
OhhhYEAH: Kukui
> 
> (Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau)  
Other Blue Ranger: Lana  
Blue Ranger: Ash/Satoshi

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess **has logged on, EVERYONE STAY CALM!_

_User **DevineGoddess **has logged on, STAY FUCKING CALM!_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Even the chat itself knows how to meme. Heh.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Okay, Leon you’re high and secondly, WHAT THE FUCKETH HAPPENED?!

**DevineGoddess: **Apparently when Team Rocket, you know the trio, are on a downer they try to kidnap Pikachu to lift their spirits

**F A B U L O U S: **That is a crime within itself

**DevineGoddess: **Exactly, however… ever since the _incident_ Pikachu can’t sleep unless tightly cuddling my nephew as a coping mechanism which makes it harder for the trio, so they took both Pikachu and my nephew whilst they were sleeping.

**G-ManWhisperer: **This’ll be good!

**DevineGoddess: **As soon as I got the word, Gardevoir and I teleported to Alola and I can safely say another Team Rocket pile of junk is off our streets.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **However, now we’re dealing with a sobbing Jessie, James and Meowth in the middle of the night. I’m in my pjs and its freezing and I’m still only half awake.

**RockOn: **How in Mew’s name did this happen?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I’m a deep sleeper but I’m extremely clingy, like suction cup clingy so one minute I’m in my bed, the next I’m up in the cold air in a cage with cackling maniacs above me. Guess what from that!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ooof, harsh

**DevineGoddess: **He gets cranky when he’s awoken from sleep

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Anyway, I have another reason to beat Giovanni up if I ever come across him again

**G-ManWhisperer: **And what other reason might that be?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **So in Team Rocket there’s this undisclosed rule that if you’re travelling between regions you have to give your Pokémon back to the organisation… YOUR POKÉMON FOR OTHERS TO USE!!! Look, I know most Team Rocket members are absolute ruffians but at least Jessie and James actually care for their team so they don’t want to head back to Kanto cause they’ll have to had over Mimikyu and Mareanie if they do

**RockOn: **I can’t believe I’m sympathising with villains here, but nani the fuck?!

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **And since one of their members have already come after Bewear and Stufful, those two might be forced into the ranks as well and the trio dunno what to do. So they decided to cheer themselves up

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **By kidnapping you and your ace?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **They only wanted Pikachu but we’re a package deal

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **For fucks sake

**F A B U L O U S: **Couldn’t put it better myself, darling

**DevineGoddess: **Oh, that reminds me

_User **DevineGoddess **has added User **OhhhYEAH **to the chat, come and get your kid papa_

**DevineGoddess: **Before you destroy Melemele Island searching, **@OhhhYEAH **Ash is fine and with me

**OhhhYEAH: **WHERE?!

**DevineGoddess: **We’re in Hau’oli City, near the Malasada shop, actually we’re right outside it on the bench

**OhhhYEAH: **I’m on my way

_User **OhhhYEAH** has logged out, give him a minute_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Give him half a minute and he’ll be there.

**RockOn: **Seeing what he’s like, half that?

**DevineGoddess: **He’s just showed up.

**RockOn: **Arceus Dammit

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Arceus dammit

**ThirstyThot: **Pray I ask what’s going on?

**G-ManWhisperer: **You may not

**DevineGoddess: **Lance, I may speak for myself. And no, Alder, you may not.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **May I ask what’s going on?

**DevineGoddess: **As my most blessed follower, you may

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **I HAVE MORE RIGHTS

**F A B U L O U S: **I am confusion, can someone please explain?

**DevineGoddess: **Professor Kukui appeared out of nowhere and is giving my nephew the most incredibly parental hug I have seen that hasn’t come from my sister.

**RockOn: **The boy deserves it

**DevineGoddess: **It gets better

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oooooooo

**DevineGoddess: **He is literally using overprotective Ursaring instincts and is GROWLING at Team Rocket if they dare to come near

**G-ManWhisperer: **Oh my Mew

**RockOn: **Our divine deity was right, it does get better

**DevineGoddess: **And Satoshi is just, curled in and fast asleep, with a smile on his face? It’s very VERY pure.

**F A B U L O U S: **I have a mental image of it and it is adorable

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I have a question and it is how the fucketh did Kukui get there so bloody fast?

**RockOn: **Parental superpowers. You know like you suplexed some arsehole for badmouthing Hop

**ACrimeAgainstFashion:** That makes perfect sense

**ThirstyThot: **I don’t get it

**DevineGoddess: **Oh my goodness, Alder, please don’t ruin this for us.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **May we haveth an update?

**DevineGoddess: **Of course. A Bewear showed up a moment ago and took Team Rocket back to where ever they came from, and now Kukui and I are heading back to his place. He even brought a blanket and is carrying Ash back in it to keep him warm. Pikachu is awake and sitting on his shoulder.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Nawwwwwwwwwwww

**F A B U L O U S: **That boy deserves such love and attention within his life.

**G-ManWhisperer: **He does, he really does

**DevineGoddess: **Anyway, the three of us will be off now, we need to head back. I’ll finish the explanation when I return to Kalos

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Have a safe travel, oh great deity

**RockOn: **May your mission be fruitful and blessed

**F A B U L O U S: **May it sparkle and shine like the sequins on my outfit

**RockOn: **And that’s a lot of sequins

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **And yet you two have the bloody gall to diss on my clothing choices?

**F A B U L O U S: **Remember honey, I have an actual masterpiece on and you wear booty shorts with leggings

**RockOn: **The Truth

**G-ManWhisperer: **The Truth

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **The Truth

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **STOP BEING MEAN TO ME!

**F A B U L O U S: **When it comes to your fashion sense, there is no other option but to slander.

**DevineGoddess: **Whilst I am enjoying this, I do have a duty to fulfil so farewell

_User **DevineGoddess **has logged out, fulfil your mortal purpose and hug the boy_

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess** has logged out, sleep well sweetie!_

**ThristyThot: **Leon might be right, this seems sentient

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Alder, you’re drunk, go home

“Thank you for arriving so quickly,” Diantha gave Kukui a soft smile, her eyes occasionally darting to the wrapped up form in his arms. “I’m very grateful for what you’ve done for my family.”

“No need to thank me,” Kukui stated, tightening his grip on Ash as he walked. “I just felt like I should be there as fast as I could.”

“Not just that, am I right,” she teased, gently stroking Pikachu’s head. “The way you treat my nephew, it’s more of a father treating their son compared to a teacher treating their boarder.”

“Well, I guess, he’s become a part of the family,” Kukui muttered with a loving smile. “Lana calls it, our Alolan Family, and so does Ash at times. It feels like, to me and Burnet at least, he’s the son we’ve always had.”

“I’m glad,” Diantha spoke, looking up at the twinkling of the night sky. “Delia, bless her, has done all she could ever could to raise Ash… Satoshi by herself. Ever since her husband’s death…” The Kalos Champion sighed heavily, noting the professor’s shocked expression. “… Delia has been both in grief and trying to do what’s right for Ash. It doesn’t help he’s the spit of his father but with Delia’s eyes. She’s been trying her best to raise her as both a mother and a father but it never really worked for her. I think that’s why Satoshi has become so attached to you.”

“Because of a lack of a father figure?”

“Satoshi is smarter than he seems,” Diantha nodded in response, confirming Kukui’s question. “Even from a young age he realised that something was always missing, he tried to step up to the plate for Delia however, he could never fully realise what he was trying to do. He never had a role model or a parental figure outside of his mother. And whilst I did try to be there for them as much as I could, he knew I was his aunt and that was it. We’re family but neither Delia nor I could fulfil the role that a father could have. That’s why I think he’s so taken to you.”

“I’m glad he has, it’s been nice…” Kukui caught a glimpse of a teasing smirk from the Kalos Champion and spluttered. “I haven’t been trying to take him away from you or Delia, I swear!”

“I know,” Diantha nudged him gently, as so not to disturb the sleeping twelve-year-old. “I’m actually grateful that he has two families to rely on, us and his Alolan family. You and Burnet have done wonders for him, allowed him to act his age whilst giving him care and shelter. In Kalos, he was acting way to mature, so mature that is scared me. A part of me was relieved when he finally let go after the incident, seeing him finally let out all the emotions he kept trapped inside himself felt as if he was forced to hide them away. Here, he’s finally been able to be himself. I thank you and Burnet both for that.”

“I’m sure that I can speck for both myself and for Burnet that having Ash with us has been an honour,” Kukui replied, smiling as he could see his hut with the lights on coming into view on the horizon. “Without him, I’m pretty sure Burnet and I wouldn’t have had such an amazing marriage, and it was through him we became closer than ever. He’s done so much for us.”

“And that’s why we’re grateful,” Diantha interrupted slightly, noticing the door to the hut slam open and a woman come rushing out. “Alola has been amazing for Satoshi, the break he’s deserved. Thank you, for being a family for him and caring so much.” She leant down and planted a gentle kiss on her nephew’s forehead. “I must be off, I can hear the League screaming for me to return from here. Farewell, Me Cherie.” With that, she released her Gardevoir and the two teleported away.

“KUKUI!” Burnet came rushing towards them, the rest of Ash’s team at her heals. She was out of breath by the time she’d reached them but her concerns were more on the child in her husband’s arms than her own stamina issues. “Is he alright? Did they hurt him?”

“He’s fine, Burnet,” Kukui laughed, Diantha was right about Burnet being a second mother. “A bit cold but that’s what the blanket is for. Team Rocket’s been dealt with and it’s all okay.”

“I’m so relieved,” her smile deepened into one of family love. “I guess he fell asleep when you showed up, it was really late after all.”

“Yeah, and he needs the sleep,” Kukui began leading them all back towards the hut. “But I dunno if I can take him up into the loft without waking him…”

“Then don’t,” Burnet smiled, giving a nudge to her husband. “We can sleep on the sofa tonight, after everything that’s happened I don’t think I’d be happy to sleep in my own bed knowing someone could attack him above us. I’ll grab our quilts.”

“Okay, thank you,” The Alolan family headed into their home, setting up the sofa into a huge pillow and duvet fort. Kukui gently placed Ash down in the middle, with the others curling in around him. It didn’t take to long before everyone felt their eyelids begin to droop. Just as he was about to fall into slumber, Kukui felt a movement against him. Fully awake, he checked to see if his actions had woke Ash up, instead was grateful that he was just moving places in his sleep.

“Tou-san, daisuke…” Ash muttered in his sleep before snuggling in deeper with a soft sigh.

“Love you too, my keiki.” Kukui whispered back before the three humans and the Pokémon huddled in and fell asleep for the night.

**Chatroom: Ultra Power Rangers And Hau**

**Other Blue Ranger: **So, Ash is Kukui’s secret love child proven when?

**Blue Ranger: **uiqsfbheq0jhbwefjiw LANA!!!!


	5. Theft and Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tapu's have their crazy day off, the kids - more specifically Hau - brings up a certain incident in Ryme City and Ash catches a new Pokemon. Yes, all in that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we start the fifth chapter, I'd like to thank y'all for your support. This is my first ever attempt at a chatfic so I'm really grateful for the response its received, thank you so much.
> 
> I also want to thank the members of Stephballen's Server for helping me write this chapter and get into the flow of it, even suggesting and helping me format how it was going to roll out. Thank you so much guys, you're amazing! 
> 
> So yeah, I spent this one setting up more plotlines for the future, hope that's okay! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thank you so very much for reading

**Chatroom: 4 Kahunas and a Baby**

_User **TheManWith40Cats** has logged on, who’s a mister grumpy today? Is it you? Yes you are!_

_User **IRLBrony **has logged on. Girl, you better get yerself some hershes_

_User **MiningDiamonds **has logged on, you missed a bit on your jacket, hun. _

_User **MyBodyIsReady** has logged on, have a nap granddad! _

**TheManWith40Cats: **Still don’t think this fucker is cursed and sentient?

**MiningDiamonds: **I swear to Lele, Nanu, I’ll mcfycking stab you hoe.

**IRLBrony: **Watch out, she’s using proper punctuation!

**MyBodyIsReady: **I’m too sober for this shit

_User **SolgaleoMeema **has logged on, which one of you has fucked up now?_

**SolgaleoMeema: **…

**IRLBrony: **Ash! Me baba, me babaloo

**SolageloMeema: **Can somebody tell me what is going on?

**MyBodyIsReady: **Shouldn’t you be focusing on class now, Ash?

**SolgaleoMeema: **I would be, if Tapu Koko didn’t show up looking distressed to high heaven and literally stole me out of my class for calm down hugs!

**IRLBrony: **Koko thefted you?!

**SolgaleoMeema: **If that is what you’ll call it then yes, I have been “thefted”.

**SolgaleoMeema: **Can somebody please explain what’s going on right now! That’s not a question!

**MiningDiamonds: **It’s called their usual 30 crazy minutes… only its once a year and for a whole day.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Ohhh yeah, forgot that was today…

**IRLBrony: **Wait, WHAT was today?!

**MyBodyIsReady: **The Tapus are our guardians and our deities, but they are still Pokémon. Since they need to keep the natural balance constantly, there’s one day a year they don’t as a “break” so to speak. The Tapus act completely different to how they would normally.

**IRLBrony: **Fini is trying to murder tourists!!! She normally does that to EVERYONE!!!

**TheManWith40Cats: **At least its just the tourists. Let her have her fun.

**IRLBrony: **I’m mentally imagining your obscure and gory murder multiple times, Nanu. Multiple. Times.

**TheManWith40Cats: **Well I ain’t got no walk in the park! Bulu is destroying things! LIKE HOUSES, AND MY CAT SCRATCHERS! BULU AIN’T PAYING FOR MY CAT SCRATCHERS, IS HE?

**MiningDiamonds: **I’m lucky, this is the only day Lele’s pranks aren’t lethal.

**MyBodyIsReady: **Ash, I’m so sorry, Koko won’t be letting go of you all day

**SolgaleoMeema: **I’m prepared. Just get the professor after school ends, he’ll be worried sick otherwise.

**IRLBrony: **Nah, he’ll be ready to murder Koko to get you back. 

**MiningDiamonds: **Knowing how Kukui is with him, he most defo would happily fite Koko to get his keiki back. Hala, be aware.

**MyBodyIsReady: **Once again, I am way too sober for this shit.

~0~o~0~

**Chatroom: Ultra Power Rangers Plus Hau**

_User **Blue Ranger **has logged on, welcome back boo!_

**Green Ranger: **ASH! Are you okay?!

**Blue Ranger: **Yes, I am fine and yes, I’m with the professor.

**Yellow Ranger: **So I guess we have you to thank for our half day?

**Blue Ranger: **Thank Tapu Koko, I actually want to get an education.

**Red Ranger: **I’m still confused over what ACTUALLY happened? Explain?

**Blue Ranger: **… Explaining

**Other Blue Ranger: **What is there to explain, Koko thefted Ash, his secret father and Kahuna Hala got him back safe and sound?

**Blue Ranger: **Lana, oh my Arceus, Professor Kukui isn’t my secret father despite the fact I desperately wish he was.

**Pink Ranger: **Lana…

**Other Blue Ranger: **Lana-ing

**Pink Ranger: **Don’t get sassy with me mortal. >:(

**Other Blue Ranger: **OHSHIHUT!!!1!

_User **Other Blue Ranger **has logged out, So long, farewell, now kiss your life goodbye!_

**Green Ranger: **Lillie, what have you just done?

**Pink Ranger: **Nothing, Mallow! Nothing unessecary at least! :3

**Yellow Ranger: **Who bets Lana won’t be in tomorrow?

**Pink Ranger: ** <strike>KeEp At It AnD yOu’Ll Be NeXt</strike>

_One message has been deleted, O O F, now you fucked up_

**Yellow Ranger: **I’MSORRYYOURHOLINESSPLEASEDON’TMURDERMEEEEEEE

**Pink Ranger: **Good, all is forgiven.

**Emo Ranger: **Damn, my sister really is an eldritch being

**Pink Ranger: **You’d better watch your words, Brother. :3

**Blue Ranger: **Okay, before we start the second-coming of the end of the world, and Lillie I will mcfreaking lose it if you start it. I’ve saved this damned planet too many times for you to mess with it.

**Pink Ranger: **Most understood higher deity!

**Yellow Ranger: **…

**Green Ranger: **…

**Red Ranger:** …

**Emo Ranger: **…

**Hau: **This explains why grandfather is constantly heading to his alcohol cabinet. The Champion of Alola is a higher being.

**Pink Ranger: **No, silly, his Rowlet is a higher being, he’s even higher than that.

**Hau: **Yeah, that makes sense.

**Emo Ranger: **HOW CAN YOU MAKE SENSE OF ALL OF THIS?!?!

**Blue Ranger: **Gladion…

**Emo Ranger: **IcanfeelhisdissapointedstarethroughthescreenWTFhowisthispossibleoeiuwrybnebfyue

**Yellow Ranger: **You’ll get used to it

**Red Ranger: **Yeah, just like we all got used to feeling Mallow’s disappointed mothering looks through our screens.

**Green Ranger: **Kiawe…

**Yellow Ranger: **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, KIAWE?! THERE’S TWO OF THEM NOW! WE’RE DOOMED!

**Red Ranger: **Oh shit

**Green Ranger: **KIAWE!!!

**Hau: **So, have any y’all heard about the Ryme City incident?

**Green Ranger: **Ryme City? Isn’t that in a region close to Unova?

**Hau: **Pretty much yeah, they were on the news last night.

**Yellow Ranger: **Hau, Kiawe and Gladion are praising and thanking you right now lol

**Red Ranger: **Shut!

**Emo Ranger: **SHUT!

**Blue Ranger: **I’ve heard about it before when I was in Unova. Like, it was big when Team Plasma first formed for its ban on Pokémon battles but nothing much else. Alolan Detective Laki was on so no news.

**Pink Ranger: **Rotom?

**Blue Ranger: **Yes. Just yes.

**Red Ranger: **That’s rough, buddy

**Hau: **As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by ruffians…

**Yellow Ranger: **HEY!

**Red Ranger: **HEY!

**Emo Ranger: **HEY!

**Hau: **The normal Ryme City parade was interrupted by this weird Pokémon I’ve never seen before. It destroyed the floats that released a weird purple gas and then the Pokémon used the gas to merge people with their Pokémon. That’s it, the cameras cut afterwards.

**Yellow Ranger: **Holy malasadas, is there a Pokémon possible of doing that?

**Hau: **Quite possibly, it looked like a Psychic type. It had a device on its head as well, maybe someone was controlling it, I dunno. Grandpa looked as pale as the sands on Melemele island.

**Blue Ranger: **…

**Blue Ranger: **Hau, what did this Pokémon look like?

**Hau: **It was pale purple-ish, apart from the tail which was pretty deep purple. And it had little stubby ears and weird three fingered… pawed hands? I dunno. It kinda reminded me of Mew in a way…

**Blue Ranger: **…

_User **Blue Ranger **has logged out, oooohhhhhh shit hath truly hit the fan_

**Hau: **Ummm… does anyone know what that was about?

**Pink Ranger: **Knowing Ash? Something potentially world ending.

**Emo Ranger: **Really? You’re joking right?

**Pink Ranger: **No brother, I’m deathly serious.

**Emo Ranger: **Sometimes Lillie, I hate that you’re the cryptid deity of the two of us

**Pink Ranger: **I love you too big brother.

~0~o~0~

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

_User **OhhhYEAH **has logged on, parental mode ACTIVATE!_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Damn, I forgot yer left Kukui on here.

**DevineGoddess: **Kukui, what is the matter. Is Ash alright?

**OhhhYEAH: **Well, that’s the thing. He’s physically fine but he’s just dashed outside the hut after looking at something in the Ultra Guardians chat. He did look pretty worried

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **What have those little shits done now?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Cynthia, they are children, language

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Sorry, Whateth those tiniests doo doos doneth now?

**F A B U L O U S: **What were you expecting, Lance darling?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Apparently more than this!

**RockOn: **All of Cynthia’s respect is held on two people in this chat, you should know that by now Lance

**ThirstyThot: **If Diantha is one of them, does that make me the other

**G-ManWhisperer: **Oh my Mew, NO It does not

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ewwww no, piss off. I respect deities only

**ThirstyThot: **Oh…

**ThirstyThot: **…

**ThirstyThot: **But…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **No

**ThirstyThot: **Oh…

**OhhhYEAH: **Umm, kinda freaking out right now as this purple blur just Slam-ed into Ash.

**DevineGoddess: **I’m on standby, Gardevoir is ready to teleport

**F A B U L O U S: **What about your league?

**DevineGoddess: **FUCK MY LEAGUE, MY NEPHEW COULD BE IN DANGER

**OhhhYEAH: **No no, wait… he’s hugging what seems to be a Pokémon and its crying

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Wait, what?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ash being an emotional support human to another hurt Pokémon, what’s new?

**OhhhYEAH**: I think this one is a Legendary

**G-ManWhisperer: **OF COURSE! OF COURSE IT’S A LEGENDARY

**RockOn: **Dude, he’s from your region. Shouldn’t you be used to this by now?

**G-ManWhisperer: **YOU’D THINK THAT STEVEN, YOU’D THINK THAT

**DevineGoddess: **Everybody calm down, if it’s a legendary then I’m sure everything is under control.

**OhhhYEAH: **And he’s caught it

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Wait… what?

**OhhhYEAH: **The Pokémon literally just let itself be caught. Welp, I’m gonna need more Pokémon food.

**OhhhYEAH: **Apparently we also need to buy a phone… well see y’all soon

**F A B U L O U S: **Wait darling, you haven’t told us…

_User **OhhhYEAH** has logged out, better luck next time sweetie_

**F A B U L O U S:** … which Pokémon it is.

**RockOn: **We’ll find out soon enough. 

**G-ManWhisperer: **That is rather ominous

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **More ominous than the time you threatened to turn Alder pink by dumping dye on him

**G-ManWhisperer: **I wasn’t being ominous, I was making a promise

**ThirstyThot: **What promise, it hasn’t happened yet

**G-ManWhisperer: **Y e T

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Now that is ominous

**DevineGoddess: **Finally, one of you are learning the true skills of divinity. I have awaited this day for years.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ummm… excuse?

**DevineGoddess: **Cynthia, my most loyal follower, don’t you agree that you are above those mortal peasants?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **i… HAVE BEEN GIVEN DEVINE RIGHTS

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **You’ve had them for ages, what’s wrong with you

**StopAskingMeTwoStepOnYou: **Two words. Tobias and SHUT

**ThirstyThot: **That’s technically three words

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Nobody asked you for your input Alder

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Yeah Alder, shut yer gob

**DevineGoddess: **I am extremely proud of you both. I feel like a mother goddess watching her mini deities grow up. Well, Demi deity in Lance’s case.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Why only demi?

**DevineGoddess: **One word. G-Men.

**G-ManWhisperer: **WHY?!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Because they’re shit at their jobs, like Alder is

**ThirstyThot: **HEY!

**G-ManWhisperer: **McScuse me?

**RockOn: **Honestly Lance, you formed them to defend and protect the region and they’ve done nothing

**G-ManWhisperer: **Explain… wisely

**F A B U L O U S: **Where were they when Team Rocket members had taken over one of your Gym’s, where were they following the SS Anne incident MAKING SURE THAT EVERYONE GOT OFF SAFELY AFTER TEAM ROCKET CAUSE IT TO SINK IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

**G-ManWhisperer:** Well…

**F A B U L O U S: **I’m not finished, darling.

**F A B U L O U S: **In Johto, you were alone in the Lake of Rage incident and some children solved the Lugia abduction issue, no G-Men in sight. And guess who came alone to Hoenn, with no G-Men ever. Face it, Lance. They’re useless, darling. The International Secret Police does a better job and no one but a select few even know they exist.

**G-ManWhisperer: **… You aren’t wrong

**F A B U L O U S: **Maybe as their boss, you should do something to change that?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Yeah, we haven’t really done much since the Μευτοω incidents.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Any reason you’re using Greek suddenly?

**G-ManWhisperer: **It’s the case name you moronic mess of a lump of flesh!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Annnnd he’s back

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess **has logged on, hope your ribs don’t hurt tooooo much from huggles!_

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Shut up chat, I’m trying to figure out something

_Okay, sorrrrryyyyyy Princess!_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Everyone saw that right?

**RockOn: **Okay, Leon you might have been right about the sentient chat

**F A B U L O U S: **Honey, we have two deities, a forming deity and a potential demi deity in this chat and you’re questioning the server itself?

**RockOn: **Tru

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Tru

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess** has added User **IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins** to the chat. Welcome to the madhouse, we have cookies!_

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **Wassup Bitches

**G-ManWhisperer: **What the fuck?

**RockOn: **Whom the fuck?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Why the fuck?

**DevineGoddess:** Ash, we aren’t allowed to add others to the chat who aren’t Champions. Kukui is the only exception

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I know but he wanted to speak to you all, he being my new partner

**ThirstyThot: **You’re gay?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Firstly I’m twelve, so stop that, and secondly if I was would that be a problem you old coot? And finally, I mean my newest Pokémon but all my Pokémon are friends and family so... Okay, Boomer.

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins:** Boomer?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Think Giovanni but technically not as evil but still not pleasant.

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins:** Ewwww, who left such garbage lying around?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Okay, I like him

**DevineGoddess: **He can stay, for now.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Thanks Aunt Diantha! :3

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Anyway, we need an introduction. Champions of the regions, this is my friend Mewtwo. Mewtwo, these are my fellow Champions, Aunt and Alder.

**G-ManWhisperer: **. . .

**G-ManWhisperer: **YYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **Yes, it is me you lowly hooman.

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins:** Umm, Ash, I have no idea who he is. How does he know me?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Oy vey…


	6. Emotional Support Hooman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon bitches about Chairman Rose, Ash gives Mewtwo and Hop some emotional support with some... interesting consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR... About three days late... woooops! 
> 
> All in all 2019 was a decent year for me, got into the uni of my dreams, doing well in my courses and I'm back into Anipoke writing. So as my first upload in 2020, I wanted to do something fun before I bring angst and pain with some of my other Aus (Mainly new) I'm plotting in the wings, mwaaa haa haa
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Usernames:
> 
> Chatroom We Are The Champions My Friend  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia  
G-ManWhisperer: Lance  
ACrimeAgainstFashion: Leon  
DevineGoddess: Diantha  
ALiteralDisneyGoddes: Ash  
IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: Mewtwo  
RockOn: Steven  
F A B U L O U S: Wallace  
ThirstyThot: Alder
> 
> DMs:  
ScorbunnyHop: Hop  
ChampionLeveledHugger: Ash

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Okay, before anything gets said, Lance calm your tits.

**G-ManWhisperer: **The fuck?

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Calm your tiddies you absolute fruitcake

**G-ManWhisperer: **EXCUSE?

**DevineGoddess: **Lance, let them explain before you begin yelling.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Finnnnnnneeeeeeeee

**DevineGoddess: **Good. Now either **@ALiteralDisneyGoddess **or **@****IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins **please explain everything

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess:** I’ll do it since I had no idea the G-men did anything outside of Lance, especially anything related to Mewtwo. Also, I don’t want Mewtwo to go through hell again so I’m banning him from seeing any of this.

**G-ManWhisperer: **Hey

**DevineGoddess: **Lance

**G-ManWhisperer: **Calming my tits

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess:** You’re all as bad as Lana, I swear

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **So Mewtwo was created by Team Rocket to be the ultimate Pokémon, even stronger than the likes of Mew and Arceus.

**G-ManWhisperer:** Holy…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Lance

**G-ManWhisperer: **Shutting up

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Thank you. After finding out the reason for his existence Mewtwo broke free of Team Rocket and kinda did something a bit crazy but I was there and everything turned out okay…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Knowing you like I do that meant there was crazy shit and someone died.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **All dead were revived I promise

**F A B U L O U S: **MCSCUSE ME?!

**ALiteralDisneyGodesss: **McScused. Anyway, Mewtwo flew of with some new friends to live a peaceful life until… Team Rocket wanted him back. Lance can tell y’all about the Mount Quena incident cos he knows and I don’t wanna tell ya.

**DevineGoddess: **Trust us, we will ask him.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **That was the last time I saw Mewtwo until recently since some bastard found out about him and used his DNA to make Pokémon go crazy in Ryme City…

**RockOn: **HE SWORE!!

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Clifford deserves to be called worse for what he did but whatever, me saying bad word ooopsie woopsie whatever.

**DevineGoddess: **Ash, focus please.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Now as Champions I hope you all know about the Ryme City Incident with the parade and all cos, that was Clifford using Mewtwo’s body to do horrible acts against people and Pokémon. I didn’t find this out until now but hey, I new, and after being found, captured and tortured again after freedom from Team Rocket, Mewtwo flew to find me for support and all. He asked me to catch him so he’d be safe. Of course I said yes and now, I have a traumatised Pokémon I need to go and love and support. Y’all can do your own research. Ciao!

_User _ ** _ALiteralDisneyGoddess _ ** _has logged out, DO THE HUGGLES… n’ stuff_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou:** It’s confirmed, Ash is an emotional support human

_User _ _**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins** _ _has logged on, listen up y’all_

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins:** Indeed he is, he gives the best cuddles. Don’t ever disrespect my emotional support hooman or I’ll murder you. Literally.

_User **IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins** has logged off, please returned to your scheduled bitching_

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Not only is our chat sentient but psychic cos I was about to bitch!

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Funny, I was about to do the same thing.

**ThirstyThot: **Hold up, aren’t we going to talk about the stuff about this Mew2 thing?

**RockOn: **No

**F A B U L O U S: **No

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **No

**DevineGoddess: **No

**G-ManWhisperer: **No

_User _ ** _ALiteralDisneyGoddess _ ** _has logged on, Hold it!!!_

_User _ ** _IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins _ ** _has logged on, HOLD IT!!!_

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **No

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **No

**RockOn: **Damn shame, seven votes to one, continue with the regularly scheduled bitching

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Who’s gonna bitch first?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **You go first hun, I did it last time

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Thanks, so have I bitched about my boss before?

**F A B U L O U S: **OOOOOOO a boss bitching?! Go on dearie, Tell Auntie Wallace everything

**RockOn:** Firstly, Wallace you aren’t an agony aunt…

**F A B U L O U S:** I could be if I wanted to be

**RockOn: **And secondly we shouldn’t bitch about our boss, Mr. Goodshow is pretty good considering

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **That lovely old Gandalf? Nah nah mate, I’m talking about Chairman Rose.

**RockOn: **…

**RockOn: **I see…

**RockOn: **Continue

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Holy shit Steven

**RockOn: **Cynthia, no

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **CYNTHIA YES!

**DevineGoddess: **Cynthia, No and Leon, continue

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou:** Boooo

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **It’s my turn on the bitchingbox luv. SO! GATHER AROUND DEITIES, PEOPLE AND ALDER…

**ThirstyThot:** I do not appreciate this level of slander

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **But it is the level of slander you deserve, continue Leon

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Thanks mate, oh and btw, Hop wants me to DM you his mobile number. Wants to keep in contact.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess:** Oh thank you! I’d be honoured!

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **No probs. So bitchingbox about Rose. Anyway, apparently he’s endorsed this kid this year who was a bitch to my little brother but we’ll get to that later…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **HE DID WHAT?!

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **I do concur, this child doth sound like a bitch

**G-ManWhisperer: **Am I the only one disturbed by a legendary Pokémon swearing?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yes, now stop interrupting

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **This kid used Rose’s Copperajah to break a “ancient monument” which means some little shite got artsy on a rockfall and called it a recreation of what it would have looked like in search for Wishing Stars (the shirt that makes Dynamax bands) so Rose was all “tut tut tut, you shouldn’t have done what I asked you to now I’m taking your endorsement” despite the fact he was told to get the Wishing Stars “AT ANY COST!”

**DevineGoddess: **Oh my

**F A B U L O U S: **This Chairman Rose sounds like a bitch! I’m so glad Chairman Stone is ten times better and is Steven’s father so Steven would kick his size nine’s up his father’s backside if he fucked up

**RockOn: **You seriously think I’d kick my father?!

**F A B U L O U S: **yes, easily.

**RockOn: **True, but you didn’t need to call me out like that

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Rose, and Oleana his assistant, manipulated this fucking kid to do their bidding and threw him out like trash when he misinterpreted their orders onto him. Like fuck. If it weren’t for Opal… well I dunno what he’d bloody do

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Do you mean the fairy type user Opal? A kind grandmotherly figure who can wreck your life if she wants to?

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Yeee, wait you know her?!

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **She was at Professor Oak’s lab teaching him about fairy types and whacking him with her umbrella when he got stuff wrong, it was hilarious

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **That sounds like her alright, mad as a bat but with a heart of gold

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **What’s worse was Rose used the incident to boost his popularity! Like he portrayed himself as the father figure who doesn’t know what he did wrong. The media are lapping it up like butter because Rose is “the hero Galar needs” but fucking hell he’s just the same as the last Chairman but making things worse for the region in the long run. He has plans for something and I’m kinda worried about it

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **Plans plus people with uncontrollable power are never a wise combination. I know that from experience.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Especially those who portray themselves as saviours and “nice guys”

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **You two have seen a lot huh?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **You have no idea, Cynthia

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **You have no idea

**DevineGoddess: **Ash, sweetheart, do you need help?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **No, I’m fine

**IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins: **By the definition of the word, Ash is anything but fine Ms. Diantha…

_User _ **_IBestowethTheeTheNamethOf...Fluffykins_ ** _has logged out. And that, kids, is how one phone met one sea_

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I said, I’m fine :3

**G-ManWhisperer: **Is it bad that I’m terrified?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **No, you should be >:3

**G-ManWhisperer: **DIANTHA, CONTROL YOUR NEPHEW!!

**DevineGoddess: **He don’t bite.

**G-ManWhisperer: **YES HE DO!!!

**RockOn: **Insane, the lot of you

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Gotta go, Kukui-hakase is yelling at me for yeeting Mewtwo’s emotional support phone so I have to buy him another one

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Aren’t you rich enough to buy one? You’re on a payroll right?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **My meet with Goodshow isn’t until tomorrow so no, I ain’t on payroll. And yes, I can afford it but I don’t like being called out on principal…

_User _ ** _ALiteralDisneyGoddess_ ** _ has logged out, don’t remind him he has insecurities when he logs on next time or I’ll break your kneecaps >:3_

**G-ManWhisperer: **I dunno who to fear more, Ash or the chatroom itself

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Both, both is good

_I do agree, that boy, he does scare me sometimes!_

**G-ManWhisperer: **BOTH IT IS THEN!!!

**DevineGoddess:** I’ll be teleporting over to Alola as soon as possible, its obvious my nephew needs me. But in the meantime, I do believe it’s Cynthia’s turn on the bitchingbox?

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **MY TURN BITCHES!

**RockOn: **If only our fans and our regions could see us now…

**DM: @ScorbunnyHop to @ChampionLeveledHugger**

**ScorbunnyHop: **Umm… hey! I’m guessing Leon gave you my number?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **That he did. How are you?

**ScorbunnyHop:** Okay… I guess… and you?

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** Who do I need to kick the butt of?

**ScorbunnyHop: **Mcscuse me?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **I have questioned myself before and I acted just like that, and nine times out of a possible nine there is someone else who made you begin to question yourself.

**ScorbunnyHop: **I’m just that transparent, huh?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Nope, I just know the signs.

**ScorbunnyHop:** It’s just some kid named Bede, I shouldn’t be worrying about it since he’s been kicked out of the Gym Challenge

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** Is he the kid Leon mentioned in the Champion’s chat?

**ScorbunnyHop: **Leon mentioned him?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Whilst complaining about his boss, yes.

**ScorbunnyHop: **Sounds like Lee alright, Mum’s had to ban all Rose talk at the table

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** Wow, that bad?

**ScorbunnyHop:** That bad

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Lemme guess, this Bede guy said something about you in comparison to your brother, correct?

**ScorbunnyHop:** How the fuck did you know?!

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Because when weak, feeble bullies aim to strike you where it hurts, they use family. How you’re a burden on them, ruining their image… right?

**ScorbunnyHop:** Yeah, that I’m a burden on Lee as the weak brother of the unbeatable Champion

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** From what I’ve heard you’re anything but weak, almost half of the Gym Challenge dropped out around the third Gym Badge and this is your… fifth?

**ScorbunnyHop:** I just got it, yeah

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Well then, that already shows that you are perfectly strong enough to be a very serious contender in this league. And you don’t reflect badly on Leon, just because you are related you should never compare yourself to him ever.

**ScorbunnyHop: **Really?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Yeah! You want to be Champion, right?

**ScorbunnyHop: **Yes

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Well you’re already well on your way there, way better than I was during my first journey. But Hop, I want you to answer me truthfully, would you ever compare Leon with another person? Like one of your rivals or me for instance?

**ScorbunnyHop: **Of bloody course not!

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Then why are you doing the same to yourself? You are your own unique person, with a personal way of doing things even if you haven’t figured it out for yourself yet. It took me two years to figure it out for myself, but it’ll happen and until then you’ll grow and learn from your experiences.

**ScorbunnyHop:** …

**ScorbunnyHop: **ya know what, your right mate.

**ScorbunnyHop: **I’ll give it a think

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Great! That’s all anyone could ever ask of you!

**ScorbunnyHop:** So, quick question?

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** Yes?

**ScorbunnyHop: **What’s up with your username?

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Oh this? I finally managed to change it from “ALiteralDisneyPrincess” after realising Chatroom usernames don’t work on new chats or DMs. So I’m a Champion and I give good hugs as an emotional support human!

**ScorbunnyHop: **Wait, you are?!

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Certified and everything, sometimes they give me abandoned and abused Pokémon to rehabilitate since I’ve raised some myself

**ScorbunnyHop: **Mate, you sound like an angel

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **I’m obsessed with helping Pokémon, what else can I say?

**ScorbunnyHop: **True, Pokémon are awesome!

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Oh, and you know what else normally cheers me up?

**ScorbunnyHop: **Oh yeah?

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** Setting fire to something

**ScorbunnyHop: **Isn’t that considered Arson?!

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Only if you let it get out of control and huge. Just get something you can burn, have a water, rock or ground type on hand and once you’ve burnt it put it out, simples!

**ScorbunnyHop: **Ya know, I might just try that out, you’re an absolute legend

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **I believe that was a compliment and I will accept it graciously

**ScorbunnyHop:** ha ha ha, you’re a right laugh, you know that?

**ChampionLeveledHugger:** I blame Unovan for not being able to understand a word you’re saying.

**Chatroom: ** **We Are The Champions My Friend**

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: @ALiteralDisneyGoddess**

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Was it you who gave Hop the idea of burning all my snapbacks, shorts, leggings and capes?!

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **WAS IT?!

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess **has logged on, long may this disaster reign _

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I plead the fifth

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Holy shit Ash


	7. You Have the Right to Shut The Hell Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diantha is worried how her worshippers are affecting her nephew, everyone hates Chairman Rose and Ash's second job means he's gonna be a mama for a while and it helps him feel better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this isn't what I expected.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for their lovely comments! (i'll be replying to the rest of them following this posting) and I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far. I have to admit, I'm surprised you all love my first attempt at a chatfic so much. Anyway, sorry there is no Mewtwo tonight but... we have a new arc to start so yee
> 
> Also thanks to Stephbethallen for the idea and the identity of the little one that joins our cast for a while. Thanks so much hun!
> 
> That's all for now, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!  
Sapph
> 
> Usernames: We Are The Champtions My Friend  
ACrimeAgainstFashion: Leon  
ALiteralDisneyGoddess: Ash  
DevineGoddess: Diantha  
F A B U L O U S: Wallace  
G-ManWhisperer: Lance  
RockOn: Lance  
StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: Cynthia  
ThirstyThot: Alder
> 
> DMS  
TheWhiteLady: Diantha  
ChampionLeveledHugger: Ash

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Now that I’ve had to refill my entire fucking wardrobe thanks to Hop…

**F A B U L O U S: **Please say you’ve replaced all your tatty and clashing items with decent pieces of clothing for once, darling

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I just replaced everything

**F A B U L O U S: **Bitch

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Mcscuse?

**RockOn: **You aren’t mcscused, continue Wallace

**F A B U L O U S: **Thank you sweetie

**F A B U L O U S: **Ahem

**F A B U L O U S: **Leon, you are an absolute pussy

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **…

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Bitch

**DevineGoddess: **Gentlemen…

**RockOn: **…

**F A B U L O U S: **…

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **…

**DevineGoddess: **Do I need to remind you there is a child in this chat? I will murder all of you if I ever see or hear that word from my nephew.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh and she means it bitches

**DevineGoddess: **That means you too Cynthia, no matter how many rights I have given you.

**G-ManWhisperer: **We’ve sworn in this chat before, what’s the big deal?

**DevineGoddess:** I don’t want your foolish behaviours to rub off on him.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Ash is a smart kid Diantha, he wouldn’t copy half the stuff we say. Plus your sister is realllly threatening and I wouldn’t want a mouth washed out with soap.

**DevineGoddess: **True…

**DevineGoddess: **Fine, continue. Except for you Alder.

**ThirstyThot: **WHY ME?!

**DevineGoddess: **Because you taught him bastard. And said it was just a term for those born out of wedlock.

**ThistyThot: **IT IS!!

**DevineGoddess: **You didn’t have to deal with extremely angry parental figures named Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet who wanted to rip you limb for limb whilst also telling him he’s not the b word.

**G-ManWhisperer: **He ratted Alder out?

**DevineGoddess: **Instantly.

**RockOn: **THAT’S OUR BOY!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: ***sniffles* I’m… so proud!

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I can’t be mad at that kid for long.

**DevineGoddess: **I WOULD HOPE NOT!

**RockOn: **OH SHIT!!

**G-ManWhisperer: **It’s full caps Diantha…

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Welp, we’re fucked

**RockOn: **Please don’t say that Cynthia, I need to live

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **GREAT DIANTHA I’M SORRY I WON’T INSULT YOUR FAMILY AGAIN JUST LET US DUMB IDIOTS LIVE YOU KNOW YOU OWN OUR ONLY BRAINCELLS

**DevineGoddess: **I do indeed…

**DevineGoddess: ***sigh*

**DevineGoddess: **Alright, I shall give you mercy

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Oh thank Diantha

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **See, you’re learning

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Fuck you Cynthia

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Nah mate, I don’t swing that way

**F A B U L O U S: **For Alder purposes that means she’s a lesbian. A lady who doesn’t like yo bitch ass

**RockOn:** I thought she was Unovan

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **YOU BETTER BE MEME-ING STEVEN STONE!

**RockOn: **I AM! I KNOW YOU AREN’T UNOVAN! I WOULD NEVER INSULT YOU LIKE THAT!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Good

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **So Diantha, where is our other blessed braincell holder?

**DevineGoddess: **At the meeting with President Goodshow? It’s today. Hopefully once the day is over the Alola League will be fully established, Kukui will be the official Alolan Chairman and Ash the official Champion

**RockOn: **I feel for them, those things are boring as hell

**F A B U L O U S: **Worse than league turnovers, and those take a week. Formations have to take place in one day and are extremely boring

**G-ManWhisperer: **They aren’t that bad

**RockOn: **Ah yes, Mr. Life of the Party speaks!

**G-ManWhisperer: **Shut up

**DevineGoddess: **At least they are taking it seriously…

_User **OhhhYEAH **has logged on, the one you are looking for is online_

_User **ALiteralDisneyGoddess **has logged on, Good job!_

**DevineGoddess: **Or not.

**F A B U L O U S: **I love how you can just feel the disappointment from those two words

**OhhhYEAH: **Sorry but this meeting is boring, everyone else is on their phones too so…

**OhhhYEAH: **Oh and before I forget. _Which one of you is Alder?_

**RockOn: **ThirstyThot

**F A B U L O U S: **ThirstyThot

**G-ManWhisperer: **ThirstyThot

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **ThirstyThot

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **ThirstyThot

**OhhhYEAH: **Thank you kindly, my wife and I would like a _word _with you

**ThirstyThot: **I’m in danger

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Yeah, no shit Sherlock

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Please don’t kill him, professor, there’s still some use for him yet

**OhhhYEAH: **But…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Kukui hakase.

**OhhhYEAH: **Fine

**OhhhYEAH: **Consider yourself lucky Alder, if Ash wasn’t here then you wouldn’t have been alive to see this

**RockOn: **iohfveqbuoeihqeipf

**F A B U L O U S: **There is a demigod and he walks around shirtless

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Wallace, careful your gay is showing and he’s married

**F A B U L O U S: **I know hun, but no harm in window shopping

**DevineGoddess:** Calm down children. Now, can one of the two of you explain why everyone is on their phone right now?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess:** Let me, I’m a natural at this by now.

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess**: So originally it was just gonna be the Alola League and President Goodshow in this meeting, cos that’s the norm with Foundational meetings apparently. However somehow this was leaked and now for some reason the Chairmen are here.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion:** You don’t mean…

**OhhhYEAH: **Yes, the reason everyone is on their phones is that Chairman Rose is speaking right now.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I don’t blame any of you

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Why did the Chairmen, no offence Steven, have a need to come to a Foundational Meeting?

**RockOn: **No offense taken, Dad is sending me those terrible Minions memes about how much bullshit Rose is spilling

**OhhhYEAH: **Apparently it’s because a certain Chairman thought Ash was too young to be a Champion and wanted to make sure Alola knew that their guidance was available, and they could provide the perfect replacement.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou:**

**ACrimeAgainstFashion:**

**F A B U L O U S:**

**RockOn: **

**G-ManWhisperer:**

**DevineGoddess:**

**OhhhYEAH: **You are right Leon. Your boss is a bitch.

**DevineGoddess: **I’m going to murder him

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Not if I’m gonna murder him first. He forgets I was ten when I was made Champion. I’m an adult now, sure, but he wasn’t complaining back then!

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **The Kahuna’s and Kukui-hakase got extremely angry when he scoffed at my idea to integrate the Alolan culture of Trials into the League system, which isn’t hard but he thinks Gyms everywhere are the answer.

**OhhhYEAH: **And what part of Alola is related to Z energy and not the Dynamax Energy you have is not apparent? And Alola is way too small to house stadiums of HIS size. We have the Battle Royal domes but they’re titchy!

**OhhhYEAH: **Ohhh but you would have been proud of Ash. When President Goodshow gave him a chance to defend himself he calmly told Rose to shove it

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I didn’t say it like that…

**OhhhYEAH: **Ash, you literally told him to but his nose out of matters that did not concern him as he had no understanding of Alola’s system and how our culture works relative to our customs.

**DevineGoddess: **I am so proud

**OhhhYEAH: **It was as if he mike dropped, I’ve never seen the Kahuna’s more prouder than they were today

**G-ManWhisperer: **So what are you all doing now?

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **Apart from doing anything but listen to Chairman Rose? Not much. Just phone stuff. The main breadth of the meeting is over. A majority vote in maintaining the Trial to League format. The Official Alolan League Headquarters need building and staffed but that’s it. I’m the official Alola Region Champion and Kukui-hakase is our Chairman.

**OhhhYEAH: **I will use this opportunity to mess with Rose as much as possible

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Please do!

**RockOn: **My father is on board to help you

**OhhhYEAH: **…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **…

**ALiteralDisneyGoddess: **I… I…

_User _ ** _ALiteralDisneyGoddess _ ** _has logged off, WHO THE FUCK HURT YOU?! I JUST WANNA TALK!_

**DevineGoddess: @OhhhYEAH **Kukui what happened?! What did that fucker say?!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Oh crap. STEVEN!

**RockOn: **Already asking dad now

**F A B U L O U S: **Can someone please explain what is happening right now?!

**OhhhYEAH: **Oooooo so this is the Champion’s chat room. I hath heard the rumours about you shits

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **What the fuck Kukui?!

**G-ManWhisperer: **We are extremely worried right now and you pull this shit?!

**OhhhYEAH: **Hakuna your Matatas, I’m not papa bear. I’m Hapu, Poni Island Kahuna and official Elite Four Member.

**RockOn: **Oh, nice to meet you then.

**OhhhYEAH: **Pleasure. Okay, so what happened was that This bitch ass thot objected to Goodshow trying to end this long ass meeting by arguing that Ash ain’t Alolan so he shouldn’t be the Champion, especially since he isn’t strong enough to even win the league in his own region.

**G-ManWhisperer: **That’s it.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **He fucking dead

**OhhhYEAH: **Oh don’t worry about that shit Kukui did it for ya.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Oh?

**F A B U L O U S: **Spill the tea, darling, I’m dying to know

**OhhhYEAH: **On it you hot slice of pumpkin pie!

**DevineGoddess: **Hapu, you’re a child

**OhhhYEAH: **Comeon, not one of you have had a childhood champ crush? No? Just me?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Hapu, please just tell us what happened

**OhhhYeah: **Sooooo Ash just suddenly curled into himself and become unresponsive, Pikachu is threatening to shock the entire room whilst nuzzling his human. Olivia is giving him huggles and since she mum friend she doing a great job. Nanu and Hala are fucking glaring daggers at this upstart, contemplating the stabby stab even though one of them is a cop!

**OhhhYEAH: **Kukui, however, has stood up, banged his hands on the table… how I pinched his phone btw… and told Rose that without Ash there would have never been an Alolan League so either he shuts up and stops being a bitch (said that word in Alolan) or Alola will never trade or interact with Galar ever. No more Masked Royal battles in their region cos “The Masked Royal” is loyal to Alola and its Champion and not Rose’s money

**F A B U L O U S: **SLAY HIM HONEY!

**OhhhYEAH: **All the other Chairmen are giving Rose shitty looks and Kukui isn’t DONE! He’s also recounting how Ash basically beat a deity to the region to prove his place as Champion, much more than most others have to and is the strongest trainer in Alola… and guess what bitches, the locals love him too. Refuse Ash the right to take his official title and Alola is gonna fucking riot.

**OhhhYEAH: **Hala and Olivia has promised Alola will not stand for this shit.

**DevineGoddess: **What are the others thinking?

**OhhhYEAH: **Big easy, give the kid his title. He won it and thus deserves it.

**OhhhYEAH: **WELLLPPP, looks like that’s sorted. Looks like new jobs for Alola with building and League staff and we all official as fuck. Just call me Elite Four Hapu cos I powerful bitches!!!

**OhhhYEAH: **Ah shit…

**OhhhYEAH: **It’s Kukui, sorry you all had to deal with Hapu.

**DevineGoddess: **You got your phone back?

**OhhhYEAH: **Yep. The Chairmen have left, one forcibly, now it’s just us heads of the League left to sort all the shtick out and what way the Trials will go and how to rank everything. So yeah, that’s the rest of our day planned. I’ll tell y’all when we get back home.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Bless you Kukui, you are seriously doing Arceus’ work.

**OhhhYEAH: **It’s no problem, at least everything will be fine now. Now just gotta convince Goodshow to ban Rose from Alola. Gotta go, see ya later

_User _ ** _OhhhYEAH _ ** _has logged off, do your official shit and stuff… I dunno what the fuck you’re talking about_

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Once again we are reminded how cryptid this place is

**RockOn: **I’m too sober for this shit

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Booze or coffee?

**RockOn: **Coffee obviously

**G-ManWhisperer: **Aren’t we all?

~0~o~0~

**DM: @TheWhiteLady to @ChampionLeveledHugger**

**TheWhiteLady: **I know you aren’t on right now but know that we are all so proud of you. Don’t listen to that Rose man, even if its hard not to. You defeated legendries and saved the world to get to where you are now. You deserve to be a Champion.

**TheWhiteLady: **I speak on behalf of everyone, but we all agree you are the most deserving of this role. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t obtain it in Kanto. You deserve your achievements to be recognised for once.

**TheWhiteLady: **We’re here if you need us.

**TheWhiteLady: **I love you, your mother and I are so proud of you.

_User **TheWhiteLady **has logged off_

_User **ChampionLeveledHugger **has logged on_

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **…

**ChampionLeveledHugger: **Thanks Aunt Diantha, I love you too

~0~o~0~

**Chatroom: We Are The Champions My Friend**

**F A B U L O U S: **tbh darlings, I just love stiring drama and sipping tea

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **So you thot?

**F A B U L O U S: **How dareth you suggesth such a thing, knave!

**RockOn: **To thot, or not to thot, that is the question

**F A B U L O U S: **I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my life to our lady and saviour Diantha and THIS is the thanks I get!

**G-ManWhisperer: **It’s as if you three are in a secret circle of idiocy or something.

**F A B U L O U S: **Bitch

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Bitch

**RockOn: **Bitch

_User **OhhhYEAH **has logged on, OOOOOO whatcha got there secret love papa?!_

**OhhhYEAH: **…

**OhhhYEAH: **I’mma just ignore that

_r00d_

**OhhhYEAH: **After the shit of yesterday I have something cute to share.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **I think we all need that. So, what ya got?

**F A B U L O U S: **Spill the tea, sis!

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **thot

**RockOn: **Thot

**F A B U L O U S: **Bitches

**OhhhYEAH: **Do you want my cute stuff or not?

**DevineGoddess: **Go ahead Kukui.

**OhhhYEAH: **Thank you. So you know how we have been able to keep Mewtwo since Ash is a certified Emotional Support Human for Pokémon?

**G-ManWhisperer: **Of course

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **Lance needed to calm his tiddies over it

**G-ManWhisperer: **Shut

**OhhhYEAH: **So something I didn’t know what that it’s a job and sometimes Pokémon are assigned to an Emotional Support Human for a brief period of them to get them used to humans, mainly this happens to eggs that were separated from mothers etc.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Wait does that mean?

**OhhhYEAH: **It doth

_User **OhhhYEAH **uploaded file **MamaandHatchling.JPG** to the chat. nawww, ain’t that adorable_

**OhhhYEAH: **Everyone, meet Baby Yoda, who will be staying with us for a while

**RockOn: **Why is that Wynaut called Baby Yoda?

**OhhhYEAH: **Ash named him, he’s been watching a show on the Disney Plus service he has. I dunno.

**DevineGoddess: **That makes so much sense.

**StopAskingMeToStepOnYou: **Nawww, they already bonding! I want me my own Baby Yoda

**F A B U L O U S: **Don’t we all hun, don’t we all?

**ThirstyThot: **Are you sure it’s okay for him to name the hatchling, won’t they get too attached.

**OhhhYEAH: **If you want me to have that scheduled talk then go ahead, keep typing.

**ThirstyThot:**

**OhhhYEAH: **Good choice. Emotional Support Humans are allowed, in fact they are told to give nicknames to the babies they get given as they want to stimulate the nurturing bond. It doesn’t have to be parental, especially since this baby is already weaned but its just a nice, loving environment for them to grow after something traumatic has happened to them.

**ACrimeAgainstFashion: **You must be so proud of your kid Kukui.

**OhhhYEAH: **…

**OhhhYEAH: **Yes, yes I am.


End file.
